Me, Myself And I

This Is based off of A true story about A girl who has gone through so much in 17 years and over came It all, All the pain, heartbreak and abuse in her life she never let it get her down she worked through it and has become a better woman, a better version of herself which made me want to share this story with all of you! This Story is about me and the things I have overcome in my life please note it is hard to read but everyone has there own dark past.

People ask me about me and who I am but what they don’t know is that I’m broken inside myself and I just hold a facade up so no one see’s the pain, hurt and turmoil that is deep within me.

I have been through so much in my 21 years that it’s hard to explain my story so please bear with me as I tell you everything I have overcome because it has made me into the woman I am today.

This is a true story about a woman who has gone through pain but has overcame it all!

When I was young my father abused my twin sister and I, My mom said that he almost killed her and to top it all off my father ended up marrying my mom’s daughter out of her first marriage which is my half sister/step mom now and they have 3 kids who are my siblings/nieces and nephew.

After my father was abusive that is when his son started his physical, sexual and mental abuse on me which this will explain from what he did to me, up to what I have been through recently because I can relate to others with everything I have gone through all these years. So bear with me and for warning it can be really disturbing and painful to hear.

It all began 17 years ago when I was 5 years old, My half brother started molesting me, he would make me go down on him and touch me everywhere and there wasn’t anything I could do about it because I was afraid of my half brother because he was abusive as well.

My half brother on my dad's side molested me from 5 until I was 9 ½ years old because my other half brother on my mom's side threatened him that if he ever touched me again he’d kill him but before my 10th birthday which is October 29th my brother was hit and killed by a car on September 14th, 2005 so after my dad’s son found out he was gone he then came to me and told me I was far game!

My dad’s son started molesting me again until I was 16, two weeks after my 16th birthday he held me down in my room a penetrated me from behind as I went to scream for help he proceeded to slap me and tell me “If you scream I will kill you” so I laid there crying as he raped me, after he was done I laid in a ball and cried till my father, his son and girlfriend also my step mom was gone and I went downstairs and told my mom everything that happened, she believed me but when we called my father he didn’t believe me, he called me a liar because his son couldn’t do anything wrong all because to my dad he was the golden boy.

It took me a year to come out about what my dad’s son did to me and it was because a kid in school made a nasty remark that reminded me of my brother and I went off on him, I was sent to the counselor's office to talk and I came out about everything to her.

We went to the cann counsel and told a detective about what happened and they took my case and arrested my dad’s son but he got out on a low bond and then they drop the ball for a year, after he got out I started receiving threatening email from my half brother and we turned them over to the police.

After we turned them over there was an investigation my analysts on my side said my brother sent them to me but my half brothers analysts side it was from my computer yet I got my computer back broken and wiped clean and nothing to prove that he did it anymore.

My dad’s son, his ex girlfriend and I went to court, us against him well through all of the long painful process he got let off and everything got turned around on me because he had more money than I did and his family paid people off to get him out of trouble so I got a years probation and $935 in fines to pay due to not having money like my half brother had. 

When I was 18 I dated a guy and he captured my heart but he also had me under some kind’ve spell because I let him get away with abusing me saying that he didn’t mean to, that he loved me but it wasn’t love, I ended up pregnant and due to the 25 year old guy I ended up having a miscarriage and that was what pulled me out of the bad relationship also I had a very good friend of 5 years open my eyes but by the time I tried to leave it was already too late. When I was 19 I dated a guy about the same age as me and we were together for awhile and got engaged then I ended up pregnant again but on accident and he was also abusive so with the combination of cheating and abuse I lost another baby.

After that guy I didn’t date for awhile until I was 20 and I met my daughter’s father who I loved deeply at least I thought I did, we was engaged to be married and I found out on april fools day I was pregnant, my daughters father wanted me to put her up for adoption or abort her and I left because when I said “NO” he decided it’d be funny to abuse me, mentally, physically and emotionally, so because of all of his bullshit I ended up almost losing my daughter but because I left in time I saved us and so on December 2nd, 2016 at 5:45 p.m. my daughter was born and I became a proud mama.

After having a C- Section with her I ended up sick with Gangrene really bad to the point I have had four surgeries and it’s now Feb 22nd, 2017 and I am still healing from them, I spent a month away from my daughter due to the wound being 8 to 10 inches deep.

The doctors said I could’ve died from it and so through everything I have almost died three times now in my life and I never want to try for a fourth time so I am going to get healthy and wait to have anymore kids till I meet the right person if I’m not to afraid to have more children in the future.

To end a sad story with a happy note, I am doing better and still going strong because as a wise person once wrote “What don’t kill you only makes you stronger” which I agree with that 100%. I am now 21 years old and raising my beautiful daughter with the help of my mom and her wonderful boyfriend.

I’m stronger than I once was, my mental state has it’s problems but I’m not letting what I have gone through outweigh my life anymore. I’m not letting my half brother ruin my life as i’m not scared of him no more, I have come to the conclusion that the only hold they have over you is the hold you give them, I won’t forget what my half brother did to me but I do forgive him as he’s mentally ill and hasn’t gotten the help he needs! I’m alive, well and happy with my life and I am not in anymore pain inside as I am looking towards the bright future not behind me!