My Angelic Demoness

Ages have passed since I first started wandering on this barren, infertile, musty land, stepping on the same rotten ground like Death who knows that the last victim that is to bow before his scythe is he himself… but is it possible to kill Death? How could he bow before the scythe, when lords and kings have been kneeling before him ever since the dawn of mankind? What a terrible mockery to his power. And so he goes on wandering forever, with the immense burden of knowing his purpose, but never being able to fulfil it. The scythe rests immobile on the ground, unable to bring savoury to its Μaster and the land.

Skin and bones have grown to support the dancing cloak of horror. A face has been created from scratch to speak the inevitable pain in silence and morphs. Beautiful, heavy eyes have popped out on the face to cry the tears of an endless, fruitless wandering. Feet have grown to aimlessly trod upon the barren land of misery and despair.

No ending seems to be nigh. And the fruitless pursuit of an ending entails the inevitable absence of a new beginning. The sun will never rise to lighten up my eyes. The ground will never turn green to relieve itself from all these years of uselessness. No salvation is in store for the ruler of the souls; the ruler of every soul but yours. The tears I shed are merely tears of nothingness.

He was suffering in broad daylight. And yet he remained inert, allowing the ruthless sunrays to douse him in light. Every breath he drew was a long sigh. His heavy, dark brown eyes rested on the pavement, and students trudging towards the gate of that school.

He had been the centre of many gazes as long as he had been standing there. Passers-by glanced at him, stared at him and, unable to draw their dekkos elsewhere, remained in vicious thirst to dream about him at night, when their day has come to an end. Such beauty he bore was able to touch the hardest of hearts and melt the purest of souls.

It is the way of things. Surrounded by vicious ugliness, people are thirsty for beauty and, once they find it, they are desperate to hold on to it and determined to suck it hungrily to the very last breath. Beauty is to feed their sterile imagination and trigger their barren dreams to reality. Beauty is to rescue them from their own, stifling, sterile ugliness. He was no human; but it was all the same for him.

And for her, too.

“I should have expected to find you here” she spoke in her usually melodious voice. Her devilishly tempting beauty did not lure him to throw his dekko on her.

Determined to attract his attention, she sashayed to his side and touched his neck. She suffered to come up with words because she knew better than anyone what he was doing there.

“Thou art disgusting to look at” she finally said. “You are a shame to all our kind. You should pity thyself for the state she hath brought you in!”

He suffered her accusations like a martyr and remained silent. After a while, he turned around to give her the look she had been longing for. She drilled in his eyes, well aware of how rare such chances were. Her lips parted in an attempt to comfort him, but no such words had her lips in store for him.

“Let us go.” she whispered softly. “I’ll take you home.”

But he did not want to go home. He remained icy at her soothing attempt, and nothing could enrage her more than that. Upon a moment of spontaneity, her dark brown eyes flashed in redness. It has always been hard for her to control her irascible nature, and thankfully, it was unnecessary, as well.

She entangled her beautiful hand in his rigid fingers in a desperate attempt to make him aware of her presence. Eventually, he pitied her with a look and allowed her to drag him away.

Passers-by were shocked to have run into them. No, such a combination of true beauty could be far from random. Her dark brown hair danced grimly to the rhythm of the morning breeze and blinded her companion every now and then. She took meticulous interest in drying up his soft eyes and wiping away his honest tears, but he barely noticed. Everything passed before his dekko in indifference and impassivity.

“Will you ever forgive me?” she said in despond; the answer to which, of course, was none.

She doused him in fiery kisses that failed to impress him. And yet he accepted them, for they relieved some of the agony of how he would kill time. She tried to move him, with eager glances and fake smiles, to which he was altogether cold. And then she went on to seal his lips in such a lethal kiss that, should there be any life in him, she would have sucked it to the very last drop.

“If such a kiss hath failed to make you stir, then what will?”

“Thou knowest very well, for thou hast taken it from me…”

“Is she then to blame for your unspeakable distress?”

“Not she, but thou art, my ever-lasting mistress…”

“I to thy side will be to help you pass eternity!”

“And I by thee remain to be punished by horrority…”

The beauteous demoness’s eyes glinted dangerously. She seized his face to gain an eye-to-eye look with her lover. He gave it unimpressed, and thus shared the unspeakable grief his eyes stubbornly restrained. She could not gaze at such a face with anger for so long. A sigh parted her red lustful lips and after intolerable silence, she spoke;

“How weak you are to despise me… Had you been strong enough, you would contempt me…”

She knew how proud he hath been to suffer such words. And yet he wasn’t enraged. She pulled behind for him to lay on her. She laid his beautiful head on her breasts and she purred in happiness. She stroked his hair softly. It stirred her to see his lovely eyes still dry. So great was his sorrow, though, that gave her guilt which surpassed her joyous glee of fostering him in her arms.

“A small eternity, more ruthless than the one that lies before us hath passed, and your grief hath not subsided… Could there be anything that I can do for thee? Is there anything that my mistake could make thee now forsake?”

“No such thing could there be… And thou art more than well aware; should you not have been, you wouldn’t have proceeded with thine erroneous traines…”

“Erroneous thou may call them, but they have fastened us together till the end of time!”

“No such an end thou talkest of shall be to atone me for my sins and your even greater mischief!”

He often pondered on their immortality, she had noticed. He loathed it and held it to blame for his current condition. But she was grateful to it, for it had sowed them together forever and ever, once and for all.

“Should thou atoned be for thy sins, my love, no time would pass ere you committed fresh ones… It is your nature to be vile.”

“And so is yours, but that won’t excuse your crime.”

“You are a demon, my love, and so am I…”

“I am a demon, indeed, and this is why I live in flames that cannot purify.”

“No flame can ever begin to touch you, for thou yourself art made of flames! Thou hast been made to destroy, but not destroy thyself!”

“No; but thou hast done it for me…”

“Accept thy nature, as I have embraced mine, and glorify it, for it hast you and I chained in bonds that no human eye, heart or mind can shake or break; a bond the tightness of which no wedlock can compete!”

He stared unimpressed. She stroked his lips and suppressed thus his sighs. He will survive she kept thinking to herself. At least, he cannot die…

And with such thoughts she coaxed the afternoon away, with her frailest lover in her arms, while he had sunk into the most delicate joys his past could offer… There was a time, he recalled, when he hath been happy, as well. There was a time, he remembered, when eternity did not seem so pointless and cruel…

His solemn mind stirred about the very first moment he had passed by that school. The cheerful crowd buzzing about hath failed to move his sombre soul.

And yet there was one, he distinctly remembered, standing among all, that had created a void in his person that could not be subsided. It was her eyes that first attracted and then captivated his attention. The face was not altogether familiar, but the eyes he was certain he had seen before. They seemed to be carrying the temperature of the moon. Her bright smile bore innocence and her eyes showed purity; the innocence and the purity a child alone could bear. Her hair, shining bright under the sunlight, framed a face of perfection.

That was the face that had stirred him to the depths of his ancient soul. That was the face he so profoundly craved. His sombre nature was shaken in a way it hath never before. That soul should be mine, he decided. That soul will be mine!

And then the girl laid eyes on him staring at her. The yellow bars of the schoolyard separated them for good, but could not even begin to abate their eye contact. Embarrassed, he took closer. Certain, she took closer as well.

He was at a loss of words. She knew exactly what to say; her porcelain fingers coiled about the bar and she looked the stranger in the eye; Have we met before? she asked. Oh, but we must have! We must have! I’m sure we have! You look so familiar to me! she insisted, despite his lack of answer.

His lips remained tightly immobile, unable to produce a reply. Not that it would matter, for she hath already made up her mind and no reply of his would convince her otherwise. He could only stare at her softly, unable to explain the effect her dekko had on his darkest soul.

Of course we’ve met before!... Once you look at such eyes, you can never forget them… Tell me, good gentleman… Why are your beautiful eyes so sombre? They speak some grief I cannot hear, for they speak it to my soul… She paused her speech and her hand slithered through the yellow bars to wipe away a tear rolling down his cheek.

She became astounded by how soft he felt… she stood back in amazement to take a closer look at him. He was a beauty, she noticed. But so captivated had she been by the man’s distress, she failed to realise before.

It was a strange look she was giving him; a strange look that had shaded the whiteness of her perfectly pure face. He stood back in terror. She attempted to get closer, but thankfully, the school bars were keeping them apart.

For a demon, a human life is but a dot in the endless line of time. But hers was not a dot; hers was a star the blinding light of which sufficed to saturate the hungriest demon. But such a worthy soul as hers could not be disgraced by becoming a demon’s prey. It was preposterous to have once thought of it, even fleetingly. He felt ashamed of himself.

He ought to constrain himself, he decided. Glances were enough. He would gladly compromise with merely looking at her; nothing on earth could even begin to offer him that much joy as laying his darkest eyes on that brightest creature. How merciful of her to have been born! he pondered as he looked.

He hid himself in the shadows so that she would not be aware of his presence. Should she see him, she would return his gaze. But his gaze should never be reciprocated, lest he were to defile her. And yet, however well he had concealed himself out of her sight, she always knew he was there, because she felt it to the depths of her innocent soul.

How harsh he was on himself… The nature of a demon was not to abstain from a desire, but indulge in it. And that was exactly what he wished to do, but knew he shouldn’t.

Such were the days that faded away, one after the other; he satisfied himself with looks but longed for the touches and kisses, as well. And the fiercer the desire, the more vulnerable it renders one to resist it…

“Let me approach and touch your hand…” she spoke one day, as she appeared in his darkness.

“Not for thy life! You are but a child, my love. Do not speak words that do not suit your most divine nature.”

“Will it feed your hunger

if you swallow lies right down your throat?”

“Why would you attempt to make a temptress out of your innocent self? It does not agree with thee, my love… I blame my vilest self for that.”

“Don’t be so harsh upon yourself, my love… For it is not you or I who will make a temptress out of me. It is Time who will, and you should know it well. Time will mercilessly devour my purity and make a woman out of me for you to crave even more…”

“Oh, how I wish you would remain a child forever… That gives me the strongest motive not to defile thee! But unfortunately, you are right… You are a child, and Time shall steal the innocence your beauteous eyes carry just when I will have loved it the most!...”

“So tell me. Tell me what I crave to hear the most… Should you be willing to, how exactly would you devour my soul?”

“Do you truly wish me to proceed and satisfy your curiosity? Very well then. It is not merely the soul that is precious to me. It is the body, as well, and it is my intention to make the most of it before I lay my hands on the soul. If you must know, I can tell precisely, for it has been ages since I started dreaming of it and I have not stopped dreaming for a day...

I mustn’t haste, though. For such a splendid body like yours deserves nothing less but a ritual of devouring. I shall start with the lips, the gentle moving of which hath so often dominated me. Yes, it is those very lips I shall have, the soft venom of which has irrevocably infected my fortress of a body. I shall bite hard, till the blood flows so as to stain relentlessly the white chin. I shall stand back and watch it drop on the blackest outfit I will have so carefully placed you in. And after this essential struggle between red and black, I shall bite again ruthlessly and swallow the rest of the venomous blood your splendid lips have in store for me alone. Cruel me, I wish to have it all course in my veins, along with my black blood, so as to assist my heart to beat. That is how much I love you.

But I crave for the rest of the body, as well. Therefore, I shall bend over you and bring the taste to my humble lips. I shall explore every nook and cranny of this divine body I have worshipped more than any. I shall begin with the cheeks, the cheeks I have so often witnessed blush with shame as you gazed at me –you thought I hadn’t noticed, but I know. And then I shall go on and taste your neck, for it has been a million times I’ve wished to dip my teeth into your light skin until it has acquired a deeply purple hue. I shall lick your gracious fingers, on which I will have placed your sparkling rings in most assiduity –the assiduity your lovely fingers alone are most worthy of. Those marvellous fingers, which I have often seen turn into fists and crash against the wooden surface of your desk. You didn’t care about the pain you so carelessly inflicted on yourself, but I cannot lie; I did care.

Then I shall taste the chest I will have so often bathed and covered with all sorts of perfumes you have always been so fond of. My tongue will swirl on your frail waist, where I would so carefully hang the towel after your bathing came to an end. And I can’t neglect your hips, moving always before me in an air most hoity. Your calves, which I will have every morning clothed with the finest black stockings hands can weave and money can buy. And your little feet I’ll have, which have been such a pleasure for every pair of shoes to enclose.

Yes, it is a divine body, and one can only be too wise to take advantage of it the way I thither describe, the way I have so regularly dreamt about –for, like I said, numerous times have I dreamt about this lovely moment.

And after my lips will have become acquainted with every niche of the divine body you carry, I shall enslave it to my will alone. You shall resist, I know; it is your nature to resist and never yield to anyone’s desires but your own. But your resistance shall be nothing but a spice to my excitement.

Go on; resist me.

You slap me away, I expected as much; but how long will a frail and petite posture like yours fight me away? And helpless as you’ll lie on the bed I will have placed you on, I will enslave you to my passions that have been dwelling on my body for far too long. Do you now recognise the words of your own spell?

You have never dared to envisage such a dark thought as this; but I am well aware that deep down inside, you wish me to proceed accordingly. You have developed such an instinctive attachment to me, after all. You’ll scream and beg in tears, but you will need far more than that to make me stop. No, not now. For now, I cannot stop. It is too late.

And now my eyes glitter red in delight of the pain I’m etching into you. I have been most eager on bearing the responsibility of your pain, your agony, your tears, such as the ones you have inflicted on me. Your frail figure surrenders, for you have realised how pointless a resistance, no matter how fierce, is. Fear not the pain I’m etching into you, for it is the proof of thy worthiness. Your grips loosen off my wrists and your arms collapse powerless on the bed. Your hair dishevels as your small head rolls on the pillow; and as you open your eyes, I can see myself mirrored in them with hatred.

How weak you are to despise me. Had you been strong enough, you would contempt me. It is your nature, after all. I stroke your milky thighs, and then I entangle my fingers in yours. You are in too much pain to mind me… Or so you want me to think.

You examine me as I fall exhausted by your side. Your eyes have acquired a childlike expression I had never thought you capable of possessing after your rape. And yet, to my amazement, you go on scrutinising me, anticipating what my move will be after I have raped your gracious body so very viciously.

You know me too well; I seize you in my arms, and take you to the bathtub. There I make you clean again, and you watch me mesmerised as I rid you of my filthy, unclean self. What a true divinity you are to me. Blessed thy be.

I have known, admired and loved your nature far too long, but you cannot even begin to hope to become acquainted with my own demonic nature. Therefore, how startled you would have been to know in how much grief I am to sink, should I not have your soul for myself alone. For marvelious though the body has been, it would be nothing, nothing at all without the precious soul it carries. And it is this soul, your soul alone I wish to have to carry it in my heart forever.”

A flame melted the ice her moonlit eyes were bearing. The sound of his voice, the violence of his words had a mystical effect on both him and her. She took a step forward and this time, he did not retreat.

“Tempted is now my pure body…”

Her words left him without comfort. “Approach me not, murderess of thy innocence! I beg you to resist me… not only to prevent me from what I am ever so willing to do to you, but to prove me there is still some virtue in you!”

“Virtue withers and dies when face to face with you.”

“Alas! Am I that abject indeed?”

“I’m begging you, be not so hard upon yourself, my love… Here, I’m offering myself to you, body, and soul before your feet… I crave my body to be defiled not by cruellest Time, but you, my beloved love. And I crave my soul to be tasted and devoured by your gracious lips alone, my love! I want your lips to suck it dry, just like I want them to suck my lips dry… And I want your teeth to tear it apart with fury, just like I want them to dip into my neck and drink my blood!”

“Wretched me! Vilest me! What have I done to thee?”

“You showed me a face of beauty. And this is how temptation was born in me… You turn souls black with desire the like of which no face, no body, no dekko is able to create! Your eyes drive them mad! Your scent allures people to their grave! It takes the holiness of saints to be untouched by such a beauty and, I confess, I have it not!”

“It is not I who bore the face of beauty thou talkest of, my love… It was you, no one but you. And now I can see that I have no reason to live or to die for.”

“If innocence is what you crave, then why not turn to an angel?”

“Human innocence is so frail to be maintained when they can choose to give it up… That makes it twice as worth it”

The distance between the two was now eliminated. She had approached to wipe the tears off his beauteous eyes and her fingers were once again enticed by the softness of his skin.

“Is that the purity you crave the most? No, that cannot be… You cannot be in pursuit of such a fake kind of purity! I am very certain of that!”

“It is out of respect I do not touch thee, for I do not know how else to exhibit my respect. You are too youthful to know how much it means to be respected by someone like me!”

“It is not the purity of an unseen, untouched body that is worth to live for and to die for…”

“If thy body I abuse as you induce me, nothing more there will be left to distinguish thee from all the others I have used.”

“A body is but a vessel made of soil. It may speak love, but it cannot feel it. It is debased, for it only feels the lust. But this vessel is required to feel one soul melting in another! This is the purity you have been seeking! If such is the love I’m talking of, if such is the love you feel, do not disdain it as impure, but yield to it and make my body blissful and my heart content. Be as brutal as you want; I shall be brave. Be as cruel as your instincts instruct you to be; I shan’t resist.”

With these words, he took the last step forward. A crystal star above her head, visible to no one but himself, started to shine and doused her in purple light. He wondered, in fact, whether she herself had become aware of it.

“Let me be *your* priestess, my sweet prince!” were the last words she ever spoke to him.

Ιn a twitch, her soft fingers veiled his forehead and her lips sought after a kiss. This time, he did not retreat. His arm wrapped about her as if to protect her against the world. She unleashed soft sighs as he attacked the girl’s lips. Innocent, bright red blood sprang out of her veins and he drank it to the very last drop. As he swallowed, as the full taste coloured his lips and pleased his mouth, he became intoxicated with an unprecedented respect for her red liquid that was keeping her divine body to life…

It was only when it all came to an end that her body fell soulless to his side. His beautiful eyes widened in shock and his body quaked with agony. He seized the body in his arms and rocked her in sobs. Her eyes opened, wide and red, and her lips curled in a wicked way he was more than familiar with.

“Accursed! Accursed thy be, vile demoness! What have you done???”

Still in possession of the mortal body, the demoness rose and touched his cheek. Initially deceived, he failed to react.

“Thou hast devoured a body and I, my love have just devoured a soul.”

The demoness let the mortal, soulless body of the girl fall on the floor and appeared in the form he knew, her one and only true form… Her beauty was devilish, sinister and breathtaking. Her dark brown hair framed a face of destruction. Her eyes burnt the night with flames lit from the pits of Hell. The melancholy that hath burdened her dekko ever since he’s known her had mysteriously vanished that night. The redness of her lips was the most lethal combination with the darkest blackness that surrounded them. Her figure, juicy and curvy, strutted to his side and with her softest hand, she caressed his cheek.

He twitched and pulled backwards. “Alas! I’ve been fooled by a demon!”

“Don’t fool yourself, my love”

“I should have known it hath been you”

“You didn’t know because you did not wish to know”

“No! It was you who deceived me into abusing a mortal with the purity of a High Priestess, for you put foul words into her mouth!”

“Not so foul, if they have thee convinced. For I did not deceive thee, you see, but all I did was grant her wish.”

“What wish thou talkest of?”

She cast a smile the wickedness of which sent shivers down his spine. “It was her despair that summoned me to her side. Her sobs had nearly choked her and her tears had almost drowned her. She fell on bended knees, prostrated before me in madness and begged me with all her girly might to grant her one and only wish…”

“What did she want?”

“She wanted thee… and so did I. She offered up her soul for thee and now she dwells in me… forever!”

Her words chilled the air of the world. He collapsed but she collected him before he touched the ground.

“Her divine body I conquered, but the soul remains intact, untouched by the ferociousness of my desire… Her soul shall always be but a mystery to me… What the depth of her desire was, I’ll never know! Her voice sounded like a song of all my pains… She was crying my tears with her eyes!”

“She thought that if she could have you, she would wash your pain away… But she was wrong. It didn’t take away your pain, but mine!”

“Ah! She’s shielded thee against my wrath! Should your filthy body not be the shrine of that worthy soul, I swear to her, I would have eliminated thee! Before your feet, I take an oath; I shall protect thee, against myself and the world at the cost of my very life!”

“She was not a conquest; she was not a feast. She and I have granted one another with what we both have longed for the most… an Eternitie with thee. Eternitie with thee is a delight!”

“Eternitie with thee is but a fright"

The story is part of The Secret Life of Kenneth Adams which is to be published in due time.

The writer holds none of the references below;

"Will it feed my hunger/ if I swallow lies right down my throat?" Murders in the New Morgue by W.A.S.P.

"You are too youthful to know how much it means to be respected by someone like me!" The dedicatee of this story.