my life

   My life of 31 years has been long and rough, for I had it good and bad. My life starts happy, for the first year or so. It starts with my mom, yet loving she was,her taste of men was not the best. My older brother and sister's dad was abusive to her,he beat her,cut her and worse cared less for his birth children at the time. Well that's when my father came in to play. From what I knew of him he was a good guy. He helped my mom get away from him one night. It was in that night I came to be, and he was gone. knowing nothing about me being born. At one time my mom tried to find my father, she tried everything she could but couldn't find him,so my life went on for me.
   A few year's later my mom has had 2 more kid's a boy and girl,both by the same man. He actually wasn't a bad man,but yet not my dad, I felt singled out no one to look up to really,  I don't really remember life at the time its all a blur from being young, I was 1.  From my understanding, in time my mom split up with him and met my thrid youngest brothers dad.  Which he ended up to be NUT'S!!!, he pushed my mom out a moving van,which put her in a coma:  Then all of us kids got taken by family members or children services.(I was one of the ones to go to children services,my older brother was 1 too his life was bad,but this ain't about him)   When my mom came out the coma she had lost everything,us kids and personal property.
  My Mom ended up having to go to parenting classes to get some of us kids back. Well she ended up getting my younger  brother and sister (by the same dad) back and my third youngest sibling my other brother back

  Then she met her ex husband.  By then for me I was in Ashand Kentucky'y my older brother and sisters father ended up with custody of them and since I had his last name he adopted me (which I think it was for the welfare check he got for me),but he wasn't a dad he abused us mentally,physically and sexually.  I was afraid of him,afraid to say anything about him or what he done to us.(now I'm perfectly fine to say something about it to anyone. I moved on)  Eventually my sister got out of it, I was so happy, when she left hell hit the fan,he started to turn his drunk frustration on me, I got beat more, i endured 7 more years.
  
   Then at the age 13, (almost 14) i was free.  He took me back to Ohio,and left me with my mom.  I was so frightened,wandering if he was coming back to get me or was he really freeing me from his tyrant hands. I could finally breath after a month and a half, I was so nervous, afraid to get in trouble,but I changed, I wasn't the same little shy boy anymore. It was  new place, like a kid in a candy store. I opened up.

  My mom lived in a bad area, but she never beat me or anything of that nature. It seems like my life was getting better,even though I was still tormented of my past with my adopted father. Then I met the wrong people,I was in and out of the local juvenile detention center,  I was out stealing and worse hanging with gang members,doing dirty deeds. By time I was 16, I was in and out of so much trouble I actually went to two different juvenile boot camps the first one I was majorly mistreated and I mean physically.  So I ran,but I was caught,beat and dragged half nude( in my boxers because they stripped me, saying having clothes was a privilege and dragged me back to the facility. After 2 more try's, I finally got away.  Yet again I got in trouble.  I stole a truck with my younger brother.( I know, I was bad news when I was a kid).  So the courts decided to but me in another boot camp, but this one was different.  It was a hands on place but they don't hurt you because they want to. I was there 3 months and passed the program.
  When I finally made it back home my mom was with yet another man he was decent ( he taught me how to fight) but a douche.  She was with him for a year when we moved to back to Columbus and she left him and met the man shes been with now for well over 10 year. It may sound like a happy ending but it isn't close, for it is finally beginning for me.

  Now in the story I'm 16 almost 17, We are living in this mans house now,and now my mom is turning to drugs, beer and men over me, her son.  I was finally working. I started with a job cleaning out houses,then my boss had sudden medical problems arise,there goes that job.  So I ended up on the streets for a year and a half, because mom chose a man and drugs. On the bright side if it wasn't for her and him putting me on the streets I would never have finally met someone who I considered a dad to me. He taught me a lot, how to work on cars,homes,and life. he gave me hope. Then I got a job moving people state to state.  I loved it, for 2 yrs i was free to the world i have seen almost over half the usa but the job had to end i worked so much i needed more on the hr he said no and there went another job.

   Then at 23 or so I met the love of my life.  She was older but still the love of my life.   We was together for a year of happiness i had a good job decent money then my little girl came to be, the second love of my life.  But life messed me up.  I got greedy. I got hooked drugs, I drank all the time,hell I even lied to and cheated on her.  After about 6 months of it we split up.  Which it crush me, all I could do was think of them both I lost my life.
  Yet again I tried to live but couldn't because of my love for them both kept my mind from letting my heart  straying to another woman. I tried everything but every time I see my daughter I see her mom which kills my heart because I treated the one I love so wrong yet I never laid a hand on her, but the feeling of stabbing her in the back for everything I did.

  Well at 28 I moved back to Kentucky trying to start new.  It didn't work all I could do was get in trouble, because without her there is no one to guide my way, I was lost, but through all the hell of emotions I put the one I love so dear she still talked to me i was surprised ,afraid . and dumb founded but she talked to me i felt a little hope.  I was down there for almost two years.then I had a call,my friend that's like a dad told me is dying.he was diagnosed with cancer.  It tore me up,I cried for 3 days and then decided i was going to walk from Ashland Kentucky to Columbus Ohio.  After four hours of walking my brother was finally able to pick me up.

 ( The story is now coming to an end all this that I write happened throughout the past year in my life which bring's up bad memories,but it is better to talk about the good and bad thing's in life than keeping it all in its bad for the soul, too much conflict inside will crush the body and soul).
 
back to the story

   I'm finally back in Ohio. I finally made it to his house, crying,praying he would never leave.  Then a month and a half later I had good news the love of my life wants back together, which masked my tears for my friend,but only for a little while, because soon after getting back together, her father passed from cancer as well.  Which crushed both of us.  And finally the day came I had a call it was my friends oldest daughter she told me the worst news in my life that the man I considered my dad passed and the thought I didn't get the chance to say goodbye to my friend,mentor,and father I love u so. I cried for a week,thinking of him.  I still wanna hear his voice say "you have to get your life together". and I never listened. Now I'm 31, still with the love of my life struggling to juggle life,love and memories of my life trying to make a difference a day at a time so I hope to all that read this not to feel pity for me but be happy, because if I can turn my life around from hell to happiness. Then anyone can change their life and fate,and the end.

This life story is told with the best of my ability, due to medical issues.( I have had massive head trama, I don't know at what age ,when I was a child I was pushed down a flight of 12 wooden steps,at 17 I was beat to death no oxygen to the brain for 5 minutes roughly, which causes memory issues, plus I was hit in the head with a hammer I lost count at 5 time in the head and between the ages of 25 and 27 I don't remember when, I was robbed and ended up getting shot in the hand with a 9mm point blank and lost a whole finger and the metacarpol bone in my hand to it. but like I said "life is tough we have to make it the way we want it the best we can".

 The morale is now matter how rough life treats us, never give up on it because you would never be happy if you do!!!!!