Questionable

Title:  Questionable?

   She like sneakers but she preferred heels. Her medium length brown hair was flawless even though she kept them in braids. Ever since she was a child she had a very blump body: Big thighs, chubby face, and love handles that all of china could see. She struggled to find the beauty that everyone said she had. Maybe it was because she heard so many times that: Her chest weren’t big enough, or her bottom was not juicy enough. Don’t get it twisted she had no problem getting the guys. High school for her was not easy. She found herself in situations where she couldn’t get herself out.  Some people might call her “Questionable.”

Who is she?

            My name is Balynda. I’m 15 years old. At a very young age my mom and dad divorce. I went to live with my mom while my brother, Nathan, stayed with my dad. We went to live with my grandma, in the northwest part of Philadelphia. My brother lived in the northeast. Then we moved to Harleysville, pa. Afterwards, we moved back to my dad house. My parents had separate rooms. It didn’t work out then we moved back to my grandmother’s house. There wasn’t enough room there since my aunt and her daughter had moved in, so we had to sleep in the living room. Sharing one bathroom. Life in that house was frustrating. As years went by we got older, the house got smaller and everything get worse.

   How she survived?

            Eventually my mother, my brother, Naphtali, and I moved out of state. We went to live in South Carolina. My great-grandmother was sick so my mom went down there to help her out. I thought life would change for the better since I was out of Philly. It did for a while, and then I fell and hurt myself. I had back pains, and I went crossed-eyed. My mom thought it was stress from my great grandma. She did some crazy things. Like the time she tried to drive my cousin to work, because my other cousin, Dwayne, was too selfish to take his own cousin to work while his arm was broken. So my brother and me got into the car. On the highway my grandmother started to bump into the cinder blocks. There were 3 hands on the stirring wheel: My grandmothers and my cousins one good arm. We got home eventually. I couldn’t wait to tell my mom about my day. When I told her she said “balynda, don’t ever get into a car with her.” My mom couldn’t take it anymore, so we left. We went back to the city of brotherly love. I went to the eye institute to see what was up with my eyes. They sent me to the hospital. I was in there for a couple of weeks then I left out with an eye patch. In school kids didn’t laugh they just asked a lot of questions about. After a while my eyes went back to normal. Well, I had to wear glasses since then, but it was better than an eye patch. When we went back to Philly that meant back to that crowded house. Don’t get me wrong it was good seeing my cousins again just not all of them in one house. It was a lot of people in that house. And there was nowhere to run anymore; I was stuck in that house until I went to college. Eventually everyone moved out except for my mom. The house seemed bigger. I was getting my own room; at least I though I was. My grandma tore down the walls in the room that I was supposed to move into. So, I was still sharing. I started questioning whether I want to be here or not. Maybe I should’ve lived with my dad; I didn’t want to hear my dad and his wife arguing all the time. It had me thinking where I wanted to go after this. After this, where is my future? I did not know. I had no clue. I just had to get out. I had to be alone for once. In school I did all that I could to make sure I was going to college. When I got an F I didn’t get mad, or cry; I sucked it up because it was my fault. No one controlled my destiny. I wasn’t the smartest, most perfect girl in the class but I tried. Sometimes I missed a few homework assignments. Everything I did wasn’t to show off or be better than anybody it was for me. My achievements were for me; it was the only thing I didn’t have to share.

     What happened to her?

            After graduating from K.I.P.P Dubois Collegiate Academy I got accepted to 4 colleges of my choice: Villanova, Penn State, West Chester, and Mansfield. I got a 10,000 grant to go West Chester University; so I went there. I graduated high school with a 3.7 GPA and top 20th in my class. By 2021, I graduated with my bachelors in English. I got a paid internship at the “New York Times” paper. My salary is more than 45k. With the money I saved from working at Joyce Leslie; I bought an apartment at 451 East 84th street apt #1; it cost $1,659 a month. The apartment has two bedrooms, two bathrooms and its fully furnished. I have a roommate who is just as private as me. We live comfortable in our very spacious apartment. On holidays, and high holy days I go see my family at my synagogue and stay with my mom. She married a guy named Ernest; they live together with my brother, and grandmother. I sat next to my mom on the couch and we talked about life. One day she said to me “Why did you want to go away so much?”

“What do you mean mom?” I said

“Balynda you always was trying to somewhere, or you were talking about you couldn’t wait to leave, and go to college. Why did you want to go so fast” she said. I knew the answer but I didn’t want to say it so I said, “Because… I’m questionable.”