Reevaluate

I always wondered my worth to others. When people decided you are just not worth the time or energy. I find that we are all sorts of disposable. At a young age I was to, disposed of. It wasn't because the time or effort wasn't given but because people generally don't have the faith that people can change. Chances, given but never really with the intention of honesty and willingness to accept that they will. If you don't know, I am adopted. When you hear those words you feel such sadness. Is it really sad though? I mean the purpose of it all is to offer a better life. I was exposed to harsh realities as a child, even harsher realities of what people are capable of. They say we are all different but truth is we all want the same deep down. I may have not always been told I wasn't wanted but actions do speak louder than words. I found that even though I was passing through cities and homes people see you in a different light. Oh, the sleepless nights not knowing how to win over people so you can just have some one or some place to call home. What scared me the most was not knowing if I was worth the time. I already had been through a series of attempts. The dynamic in which made me hate my life more than most. The constant rejection. The constant what if. The constant reminder that I don't belong. Maybe, if people stop pushing me to love people I don't know perhaps, I too would learn to love myself first. Disregard the fact that I was adopted for one moment. Remember only you can fix you. Carry on, years went on like this. Years of agony over who am I?  Where do I belong? What am I worth?