a rude awakening.

I initially sought love, while we all may very well know, life can be crudely ironic. My intent was clear, find love and pro create. I (not unlike most) found someone and fell "in love" in the first year we (like most people) were inseparable. A limited few in my family didn't like her so much and would instigate separation between us, seldom do we listen to others when we are following how we feel. We would remain together for the next four years, over which time we bounced around trying to create a life, although things seemed impossible we had both maintained the idea of a future with one another, in the final year of our "courting" she grew distant on account of me finding truths she had so desperately hid.
Ironically I forgave her but I couldn't forget, the thoughts saturated in my mind like a plague of locus blacking the sky. Myself having been raised to work through problems was still willing to work things out, she just couldn't handle how much everything had changed.
She eventually left me for a guy she knew from high school, safe to say I was crippled by it, in the beginning my grief easily outweighed any I'd felt before, it wasn't until my son's fourth birthday when I started to sincerely understand (so to speak) beauty. My son and all his cousins after presents and cake,
made there way outside to play with all his new toys, I naturally followed to take pictures. I took two pictures and realized my baby girl was no where to be seen, I quickly turned to my brother to keep an eye
on the boys, I walked through the garage door into the kitchen to find my three year old daughter passed out with a frosting covered face and a hand full of cake, it was 2:23 in the afternoon. I picked her up with complete disregard for my clean clothes, as I walked down the hall to her room, the thought occurred to me, I was going through all this grief, all this heart break festering inside me for them. They helped me see truth and in that moment my eyes swelled with tears impossible to hold back, the lump in my throat felt more like my wind pipe was about to explode and all I could do was look at how lucky I was to be their daddy. After the day had come to an end I set up beds in the living room, we watched cloudy with a chance of meat balls, as they feel asleep I couldn't help but miss their mother, but I was so inconceivably happy I had them, it was then I saw clearly how beautiful life actually is. My children taught me to look past the obvious, that life is beautiful because we are allowed to grieve, love, laugh and even hate, life is so beautiful because we are not allowed to keep it and no matter the creation, creator will always love unconditionally. Love your life and every emotion you are allowed to feel while you're here, love every moment you have been given and give love every chance you get.