Scout

So there I was sucking life's dick. For the last 3 months id been in Harrisburg Pennsylvania, living out of the back of my van and barely scraping by waiting tables at a truck stop diner appropriately named, The Hole. The hours were long, the tips were shit and the customers looked like they'd taken too many trips over the rainbow. The owner, Daniel Grass, was a 400lb. deplorable son of a bitch who inherited the place from his Aunt Flora and rather than fix the place up, took all the profits and drank them away. He was vile, rude but worst of all, he was my boss.

Every morning I came through the back door, clocking in over the sounds of percolating coffee and his fat ass delivering fresh insults for the day. " Hey its Bonnie Prince shit head! I thought for sure you'd had been found frozen to death in the back of your rusted out metal coffin." Not being in the financial position to give him flack back, I sucked each comment up with a grain of salt all the while wishing I could just set fire to the place with his fat ass in it. I hated him. And with the derogatory poetry that dripped off his yellowed tongue, I wondered if he once wrote for Hallmark.

It was mid November when my routine of dodging stones thrown down on me from heaven came to an abrupt halt and my life was to be changed forever. "Hey glory hole! Make sure you clean out the grease trap before you leave tonight the stench in the kitchen is beginning to stink like your pathetic little life." As usual I just smiled and nodded in contemp. I swear if the Devil had a twin brother, Dan was the one that survived the fight for ruling the earth and since the party in hell was canceled due to fire, Dan took up shop here.

Around 11pm on a Friday night we were just gearing up to close. Even though we never got a customer past 9, Dan stayed open the extra hours just so he could get drunk and extend his enjoyment of giving me shit. Regardless, as it got colder out I didn't mind so much because it was warmer in there than it was in my van. Just as I was reaching to lock up the front doors they flew wide open and a tall, dark figure stood in there blocking all view of the outside world. "Oh, hello can I get you something to drink? Coffee maybe? Were just about to close but I think there's still some left. " I said like a robot doing his rusted out job. The tall figure said nothing." I continued fishing for a response. " We have some pretty good sandwiches. You can get them to go if you'd like." Hoping his order would be one to go. Again, this stranger in the doorway said nothing.

Realizing this was like a Bates Motel moment I turned to Dan who was already half shit faced, with a HELP ME raising of the eyebrows look. He raised his head and in his usual charming voice said," Hey asshole you speak English? This aint no rest stop you either order something or get the fuck out!" For once I appreciated his slimy social graces. Yet still the stranger said nothing. Now I was starting to get a bit freaked out. " Hey asshole what are you deaf? I said order or fuck off!!!" Even Dan was starting to look a bit nervous.

After about 10 seconds of uncomfortable silence the shady character took a step forward, turned and locked the doors. Oh shit. I knew right at that moment things were about to get surreal..........