Smoke And Me

In the heart of town, where shady characters make their name an evening found me puffing colorful smoke to my pleasure. From my nostrils, the dizzying blase gave a fog so that my face could not be seen, a favorite move of mine. Not with standing a waste of good smoking weed, I had all day to get high. I was sixteen and a half at the time, and knew them streets like the back of my hand. My boldness was legendary, for hookers made my home a place of gathering from a night of busy, and i made a spectacle of them to friends from peeping windows. Behind my smile set a mindset that only God would challenge.
While sitting there with marijuana struggling to get me high, a voice distinct and clear asked..."what? are you going to smoke your life away?"...my buzz was halted and I jolted, to which I replied...NO! ...Lord. I was sure it had to be the Lord by deduction, for the only two invisible folks I knew of was God and the Devil, and since the Devil didnt make house calls to interrupt a good weed smoke, it had to be God. I sat there stunned and waiting to hear if God had anything else He wanted to say to me, for I was all ears, but nah, a new silence came both in my heart and in the room.
Friends started filling back in the room from their busy, and one by one I told them I had just gave up smoking, and either because they were high or fighting demons of their own, they gave me high fives and told of a friend who too had just made that proclamation. And with those few words, i made my exit, to discover this new lease on life. It sure felt good to get a visit from God even though I had never met Him before on such a grand scale.
The next day I marched off to work with a twist in my step and thoughts of my freedom from smoke. As I arrived at work and was well into my busy, the thought occurred to me to visit Ratz, the other friend who too decided to quit smoking, and the one who gave me my love for Dub music. I had not heard Pueblo Moses in many moons, so I felt it would be a nice get away. All of a sudden, the Voice of distinction, was heard in my head louder then the first time telling me not to go town to visit Ratz. I began to think this Voice was a stalker, and got irate with my I dont know You like that, attitude, running my life was not in the deal. And in my mind the deal and point started and ended with smoking.
When lunch time came, I dashed across the way to the store and picked up my favorite, bread pudding and orange juice and caught a bus to the area where Ratz could be found. Stepping up to his door and knocking, there was no sound and I could almost feel the Voice saying I told you so. But my responds in my heart was "so"...I felt that I had to see for myself otherwise that was somewhat creepy. To my surprise another voice was heard asking me if it was Ratz i was looking for. Being in front of his door was not sufficient evidence to the question rang from me an irritating yes. "He is not there..." to which i gave a look almost like the one God was getting, but theirs was in their face. But if you like, you can come over here, we have some nice weed you can join us if you like. Now! as in a moment, looks switched places, as God's look took mine, My look took theirs, and their look turned into a smile as I said why certainly. It was not long before a Joint was passed around the room, and by the time it got to me, I almost felt God had something to do with it, for it was not worth the wait. I took what seemed to be two impossible draws, and passed it on to eager hands. What a waste, as i decided to remove myself and take a slow walk back to work seeing I was early for my lunch was wasted on a bad trip.
I had no idea at the time, them jokers were puffing PCP, but the high kicked in when I noticed a mouse had jumped in my bag and bite off a piece of my bread pudding to which I fussed and told them I was not having it. I threw away the slab of bread pudding which seemed to be compromised and journeyed on. Feeling somewhat guilty about my relapse, not to mention the fact that God had told me not to go, I got the feeling He saw much further then I could and my guilt only deepened. Only years later after seeing a guy from that smoke meeting kicking stones, did I realize how close I came to a wasted life. Yup, I still have a wonderful relationship with that Voice, and have come to know Him as Jesus...smile...my Best Friend...nj