Something I Could Hold

What is this?

something to remember or something to forget?

Do I know why or I just don't have the time to solve?

going brain dead or is it just a dead brain?

Always waiting for the end to be here.

The day starts and ends with me waiting in a line for the end that doesn't ever appear.

The confusion that can't be unraveled.

This is the path I travel

I make it a race to change the problems I face.

I'm so impatient as the seaching for the truth is a waste

Another dead end i will have to take

I found something else my brain is trying to create

a recurring thought that tends to hold me back from change

The brain is now on a path that i notice i have no control

This begins the shut down that limits my brains expectation even more

This gives me no way to know where ive been and where to go.

The feeling of being alone sinks in and the body becomes a ghost

I start to plan a way to escape.

It would be simple if I could run away but that not a opition I can take.

Im facing a brain that hides myself from I.

This isn't going to be an easy task to complete facing me

The escape plan didn't have a chance to even be

As i continue to hold on to nothing at all

This brain focuses on the next thing to surpress to make it harder to progress

My thoughts split into a existence of me, myself and i.

As the struggles become more and more to overtake.

I start to feel im here to stay.

Just there to be there wasting the time that is barely ticking.

Guessing that is just my life working out the kinks of the remaining links

to a brain being constantly repaired for everything .

As you would think this would be what is happening but it lacks the effort to be.

The will to change is not a emotion i can seek

its not the only thing becoming weak .

My eyes full of pain as it watches his life become an endless stare

that will never figure that reality is right there.

The days that becomes all the same

Blurring the date as it becomes easier to believe its not worth to think

about days that is now a period of existence i will never see

The longer it takes the more simple things become be

Just a ticking time bomb on the verge of acting on it own

Still frozen in time by a mind that becomes a war zone waiting to unleash

My mind of mine become mines to the mind exploding into the sky.

The fragments falls as it piles up on the path surrounding it all

glimpses of thoughts that were whole but now it's just like a piece of sand that doesn't matter as a spic that you can pick

As I walk on not knowing why I cant repair a brain that isn't there

I climb the stairs as the wind takes things I will never know into places unknown.

As i setup for another day threw my life thats becomes hard to claim

Things that recreates a frame that used to holds up my brain.

Making it difficult to know who I am and the route I came.

I wonder why does these problems continue to drop out of the sky hitting me in the head.

The truth will remain a mystery and the struggles I face just keeps the brain running in place.

The thoughts that should make the change is lost without a trace.

The brain represents all the choices that needs to make.

Giving it a sense of repeat as the answers start to sound all the same.

Thats why im stuck inside a mind trying to hold on to everything in rewind.

As I continue to watch the ways I can't change

I hide my eyes hoping for it to end this pain of shame

knowing im losing all aspects of life as it drains

You would think this is a sign to the body that if you follow this chain it will show you a life that doesn't remain

Ive seem to keep grabbing the same rope as my life feels like a big joke.

Just another thing I can't control

the feeling of hope flys out the door.

I would guess the past cant be the future but somehow i made it work.

This leads into something a little more defined like bits of dirt that grinds

the best of you to a fine point

Now it becomes a instrument that repetitively pokes.

A pain that's harmless at first becomes deep and the blood starts to leak

Making things a big mess as the stress that builds up starts to make you choke.

Sending the body to a comatose

My brain panics as it tears up everything to get there

As you get traces of someone that calls themselves a part of the human race

finally someone shows their face.

Th drive to make a change has came into play.

Now noticing that he doesn't want death as many thoughts figured that was the only thing left.

He catches his breath then works on the steps that are next.

Carefully choosing a path giving a chance to get a reaction to the mind that is just frozen in time.

The words of the man will force the mind to recognize the connection that was effecting the heart, body and soul

The changes that were made to his voice created a mind tidal wave.

He is now watching it unload as the wake takes my hopes for a vigorous pace

giving this guy a jump start into life.

The body started to change

I start to stack up the layers that are in my way.

I begin to learn from my mistakes

throwing out the ones that are a waste of space.

This gave my hopes a launching pad as I continue to grow from day to day.

As the feeling of letting things go is retaining infomation that i really didnt want to let go

The pain of letting go seems to continues to be there with the strength of strong paste holding it in its place

A constant reminder of the disgrace that was made

Trying to seize the day I remember the things I hate and try to stay away. 

Keeping an eye on the things that didn't even matter til this day.

his really opens my mind to keep the things I hate at bay.

As I continue to widen my mind and dealing with challenges of claiming what i cant remember its name

understand the aspects of every little thing and I try to find other ways to help prevent the constant hate.

I tried to hide but it always seemed to find me some way.

Making me realize I need to blow the end sky high giving me a clean slate .

I then set the charges for my get away.

As it explodes i see a life floating in and out of the the smoke.

This gave me a sense of hope and I followed my heart threw the unknown.

Now im tracking the thoughts that i thought were lost.

The mind that cant find home is now recreating memories that gives you the strength to carry on.

The days become more alive and questions just keep hitting my mind.

Some were easy and some hard to find.

The more difficult ones kept pushing my boundaries that remains

my mind begins to question the reasoning behind the way it lost it's way

Then it started to blame the shame on my brain.

Unleashing a hell of a problem thats not easy to tame.

As i look upon a problem that is in flames.

I then try covering the flames to try to put it out.

I then try to push the problem that's still in flames on the edge of insane.

I remember roaming a land in darkness when my brain had the flame to help guide our way

As the problem is just another empty space

I notice the problems keep rising from the ashes of the flame into smaller problems engulf in flames.

An art form in its own way

If you learn to controI the basics of the element and understand the problem for its strength.

If anyone knows anything about flames its claim of fame is burning everything

. So its just matter of time before you get burnt. N

Noticing these problems are just a menace to hold I start gathering things that fuel the flame

I have to figure out how to make the problems I can't seem to shake to become the strength I will embace.

Noticing the gains in my faith helps me conquer problems that seemed to not go away.

As my journey is noticeably lighter and my wits is brighter.

I just know home is becoming more of something as it seem to raise from the dead.

This give it a new edge as it becomes something to respect.

Learning the ins and outs of respect gives me the ability to break what holds me in place.

Respecting my surroundings brings a since of love that you learn to follow

Its like a code that you can't break but theres nothing enforcing the laws you claim as its just a way of life that works best.

As you continue to gain the knowledge that has no ending if you continue to become this man.

A man that understands the powers of knowledge and the words that surrounds every aspects of life.

Now the journey i continue to make ends differently everyday.

I never know the variances on the give and take as I learn to let the problems I face fall with just a shake.

As I walk on the feeling I had seemed to change as if something creeped out from it's detrimental sins.

Trespassing on the hopes that became the life i now know.

The life it used to choke is no more and I will always know the path I took to become a person with something to show.

The strength that i learned from the stuggles i faced is now a force for hope

. Taking the problems that had a deadly grasp on my life becomes a flick of the wind never to see again.

I now take everyday with grace and sense of control.

I keep the fight alive as a dull light becomes a shine oh so bright.

The light now shines across the lands making it easier to know where i am.

My eyes only knows everything that I faced to make it to this place.

From the faith, the strength and just getting through the days

I took my life experiences and made the necessary changes to become a person with hope that carries me til this day

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