Survivng Being Homeless

                                                      The Beggining

                                                       Chapter One

Its hard to describe the feeling of being homeless but i will try and make you feel what I have felt off and on for a few years in multiple different states.   Homelessness first struck me when I was 28 years old, I was living a normal life with a family. I wasn't working at the time but I hustled trying to get whatever little side gigs I could get.  Well it just so happend that I was out picking up pecans and came across a old camp site, I came across a sock that I thought was filled with pecans. Boy was I mistaken, something told me to pick up the sock and see what was in it. The sock was filled with cyclinders of black electrical tape and so I cut one open and thats when my life changed forever. There was about 3 cyclinders filled with Meth and probably 5 other cyclinders of marijuana. At that time I had never seen the drug before and knew nothing about it. Like a retard I tried some of it and the whole time I did so there was a voice in my head telling me to drop the shit but I just couldn't..    At that time in my life I was with the woman of my dreams for 6 and half years and things was good even though we was struggling financially. I told Melissa when I got home that I was going to go get rid of this stuff and bring back some money. well that never actually happened. I ended up doing all the meth with a few friends and didn't attempt to come home for 3 weeks. I was torn up inside and thats when I first felt the clutches of that drug. I had ruined almost 7 years of happiness and til this day she will not speak to me and honestly I am not mad at her cause I was the fool and I hurt her more than I did myself. All this happened in Cordelle Ga.  Well from there I went to my home town of Tampa Florida and sure enough I wasn't thru with the dope. Looking back now I can only shake my head cause I knew better all along but refused to listen to the voice in my head telling me this isn't right. Well I lost like 4 more months of my life and soon realized if I didn't get away I would end up dead or in prison. So I hooked up with my cousin who was struggling as well and we went and stayed out on the beach and I went thru detox there pretty much on my own cause my cousin had no idea how to help me and for a week I heard voices and shaked and was knocking on deaths door. I literally had given up and welcomed death but thru my darkness I seen her face. As the days went by everything got easier but the voices never quit and shakes came and went and slowly I started to gain weight as all the dope left my system. I survived off of fishing and because I did't have any money to buy food or anything. I had not only lost the love of my life but family and friends both had turned away from me and wouldn't help me. Everyone acted as though I was a diease or something.