Tears

    She was a passionate mother of three small kids with a desire to love and be loved. But divorce can sentence any meaningful mother into hard labor. Leaving her with a lost love and desires for it's kindling. And time can seem to snatch away every source for any flame. Pain from practice in being both mother and father, can lead a desperate woman through a fifteen year journey, at the borders of a kiss that can make up for all time.
     Dressed in heels and without split ends in her hair, her body told her she was more then ready. Perfecting the art of the pillow, in dim lighting, and resulting, she gave birth to a baby boy, nine months later, making it her third child. As the sole provider of the family, she became disillusioned with the marriage, and his this and that made it ripe for divorced. She never felt his leaving, on account she was doing it all on her own for sometime already. But like most women, the urge to keep moving for the cause of the kids, is never really felt until later.
      When a woman is sentence to hard labor as both mother and father, the love for her kids blinds her to silent facts that come up, unexpected. It is never a woman's intention to forgo love, but it is ever her intentions to see to the well being of her children. As a business woman, being responsible for the up keep of the home, and making sure that bills are paid and life is full with this and that and that the needs of growing children are tended to, a mother can escape UN-noticed, the dramatic shift to her own well being. 
     When love is lost, a woman may not see the callous hardening of her own heart, and the scheming nature that brews for supremacy. This big Elephant, can stalk every famine trait that made the nipples in her chest respond to voice commands dressed in the purest tones of love. And in it's place, a cold calculating reasoning from cause to effect can take root, leaving her feeling new, without realizing who or what she has become.
     Desire for love and coupling never goes away from a woman, and in those nights when the breeze comes from the south, the brush from warm sheets may ring the bell on her nipples, but the Elephant will remind her of the pressing needs and the responsibilities at hand. The Elephant will comfort her with a future, and dazzle her with private visions that make her now seem worth every effort for her family. But what most women don't know, is that the Elephant never intends on leaving, and once settled in her nature, takes over her life, and becomes all things to her. When a woman becomes both man and mother, she rarely lets go of either to be fitted back as just woman and wife, for what is lost, in most cases is lost forever, and this is the sad reality of allowing the Elephant a foothold in the first place. Yet it goes without saying that a woman needs help, but it is only when she denies this and gets help in a way that can be self destructive to her femininity.
     After fifteen years of hard labor, time and attention can work sexy right out of a woman. The great thing about the internet, you can leave sexy out and allow words and bygone pictures work a magic that makes desire hit steroid levels. However, when that Elephant of Independence, proves it's presence, what can start out to be an awesome encounter,  can put man and best in the ring where Brawn and Femininity should have been sitting at the table. When a man's statements are answered two steps in advance, it leaves him confused as to what is being said vs what is being felt. When a woman is home on her bed amid the covers, what should be a savor of time and effort becomes strategy for tomorrows conversation. When a man says trust me, she has a seven step program brewing encase brother-man, has a few issues.
     The pain that comes from practicing letting go, becomes over whelming, and this mother, fifteen years into her divorce, now sees her own daughters kissing and petting, and sees that time indeed passed by. Now wanting to take the Elephant up on a promise made, now sees an issue, not with herself, but with the man she is pursuing, cause he wont take her suggestions. He being without love himself cant wait to make ready for his encounter with her, whereas she is stuck on shifting needs decides to go into a contract for two years as a in house teacher, to make money for the both of them without consultation, causes him to hit a gasket. She feels that sorry should be enough and he can wait for her, after all the Elephant told her, it was a smart thing to do. Tears streaming down his face just beyond the screen, this dude cant believe what he is hearing. Trust issues are very real in both men and women, but the one thing that kills the love of any man, is a woman with more answers then ears. And this woman had a big Elephant living inside of her, and love will be a pain if practice letting go is not forth right and successful.
     The nice thing abut love, it is long suffering and kind, it is not easily proved, and endures all things. If a woman meets a man who is familiar with the big elephant syndrome, it could very well be, that his love for her, can help aid her in healing and recovery, but the journey will be at least a year in the making. To fight for love, tears must ever be present. But as in all things worth our time and attention, the sweetest kisses come after victory. Here she is, just a kiss away for all time...nj