That moment

That moment when life changes. You know the one that seems to be timestamped in the universe. The moment that interrupts everything and restarts the clock or throws you on a new path or knocks you down so violently that you aren’t even certain that you have the strength to get up again; yeah, that moment. There is no way to prepare for that moment. Most of us just treat it like taboo and pray that it never comes. We don’t utter a word about it and we try our hardest to keep it out of mind. Still, it happens, it happens to us all. When it happens, it feels like the very earth on which we so confidently walk has broken down the middle and we are surely sinking beneath it. It feels like screaming in a sound proof room where the lights are off. No one can hear you, no one can see you; everyone is seemingly unaware that you are even there. It feels like your oxygen supply has just been reduced to the tiny space that you are in and you’re aware that once it’s gone, it’s just gone. It’s like your life being snatched away as you sit there watching helplessly, with your hands tied behind your back. It’s that moment. That life or death, fight or flight, all or nothing, moment when you should do something. You know you just need to fight even though it’s a fixed battle and the outcome is “you lose”, you just can’t take it lying down. It's that moment. That moment is crippling, it’s breathtaking, it’s shitty but it’s inevitable; that moment. When that moment comes, it’s so hard. It’s mostly dark. There will be times in that moment when the cracks in your world allow a few rays of sunshine in that will serve as hope that the darkness is passing soon but then that darkness will become supreme again and snap you back into reality. You’ll cry; you’ll cry like you have an endless supply of tears. You’ll want to run but there will be nowhere to go that will free you from the burden of that moment. As much as you don’t want to hear it, you just must go through it. You must face that moment.

Listen to me: That moment sucks so bad! I mean, it sucks really bad. You’ll want to kick and scream like a kid being told “no” in a toy store. You’ll want to sit and pout or lay down and surrender. You may feel like throwing it all in and forfeiting. You may just decide to “fall down and take the punches” just to get it all over with but you can’t do that.

In that moment when life threatens to dismantle everything that you thought was concrete in your life, it will be very easy to just “lay down and die.” But you listen to me: YOU CAN’T GIVE UP! I don’t care what it takes. Maybe you need to wallow in your grief for a minute or have a full-on temper tantrum; do it! Do it and get it over with. Then I want you to get up, wash your face and start moving forward again. Hear me, loud and clearly: YOU ARE A BADASS IN THE BEST WAY! YOU CANNOT BE DEFEATED IF YOU DON’T STOP FIGHTING! Look at yourself, you have exactly what it takes to conquer this moment. It’s not going to take you down; you will take it out. You will use this moment against itself to ultimately destroy it. Those cracks that it caused it your foundation, use them to breakthrough to the other side of this. YOU! YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES! I know that it doesn’t feel like it in the moment but you are the champ! You will win but you can’t stop fighting. I BELIEVE IN YOU but that’s not enough. You have got to believe in you. You must tell yourself that you will not let this destroy you but that you will use this as sandpaper to smooth you over. In this moment, you must decide who is in control. You must make the decision now whether that moment, that damaging, dreadful, pain piercing moment will be a period or an ending in your story; it’s that moment.