A Time To Forget..

        I was about 15 when it happened, i had no clue what was going on but it hurt and i was as helpless to him as i was to my parents. Before i tell you my story.. Remember the things that happen to you or your family happen for a reason.. I was a very petite chubby girl, i always thought that love was something you had to buy, so i was always giving boys money when i was about 6 and 7. When i started to get older i started off wrong, very, very wrong i met someone. her Name Lavon Sanchez; i first met her when i had moved to a new neighborhood, i had passed by an area to where she was. i knew her from school but never approached her she simply asked if i wanted to smoke with her. "what?" i was confused and had to come up with a lie. My little sister is with me. i glanced over and saw this boy tall cute smile and all i thought i was in love. After that i was always at lavons house, just because i knew "he" was going to be their he was charming in every way and then some.. we grew close. VERY close i was always at his house i had fun met his family parents, even his sisters. i was blessed i thought.. Until one night by a fire he had started, buring wood and rubbish in the backyard i staggered over and asked him the words i wish i coud have swallowed many times before i said them, hey i said as simple to make a conversation before i spill my guts to him. i like you alot i said we should date :) i smiled at him wide eyed and blushing, he chuckled a little bit and said "your not my type" did he really say that, i tried playing it off i said i was just kidding but i knew he knew that i was serious. i turned away from the gate on the side of his house. and tears welted my eyes down my neck to my chest. it was very cold.. as i was walking home i had an uneasy feeling in my throat i got butterflies? butterflies i said? the only thing i remember was a Tequilla? glue smell than as my vision dimned down i realized it was chloroform. it took me awhile to adjust my heart rate to this drug. i was really cold now? but why my vision looked like an oil painting everything moved and blurred but i was moving in a regular motion back than forward. my lower abdoman had a stinging pain and my thighs where wet. i struggled, i screamed, i got my vision back. something was inside me... but who was it. i almost burst into tears it was him! the boy i met at Lavons, his Name JEREMIAH SILVA the worst possible thing to ever happen, my innocence me security all taken away. He held his hand over my mouth and continued, until his needs were satisfied. i just laid their on the floor ashamed and embarrased? was this my fault would i ever know? i couldnt say i was lost in some conclusion that it had been done for a reason. i sat up, he asked my the worst thing i could here in the dark alone slipping in and out of reality. Did you enjoy that i certainly did!Q than he laughed i slapped him with the blood on my hands from what ever he had done to me, and boy i was in pain. i would never be able to let him look at me again. i was never going to be apart of him ever than he reached over as a i struggled away feeling lost and really dirty. he kissed my cheek and i fell into his arms, tired and naucious. i woke up, in a bed, i reached over as i normally do but i didnt find what i needed to grab. it was a house i had never seen i was laying in bed with this? this hot human being?! he woke up soon with me and i was disgusted. i want to go home i requested not knowing the time or day. he said he had walked me home, and told my parents i was staying with him tonight. im your boyfriend he said. did he just say that?! am i dreaming. not anything bad but it blurted out, "you didnt have to rape me if you asked i would have you know done it for you" He laughed , i know than why? i was saving my innocence for marriage and you took it away?! after that day my life changed forever.. 4 months went by and i still never seen him after that day i looked down and seen my stomach grew another inch over night?! how could i be gaining so much wait and my boobs are killing me.. I went to the doctor and with all suprise i was 4 and a half months pregnant! what?! no! my life my plans all shattered away. i told his sister and his sister eventually told him he acted like he never even seen me before. and denied it all. I lost my baby the 5th month of my pregnancy i was devastated i have scars where the Razor didn't do its job. my baby had slipped away from me?! why i thought what sign was this? I was in deep depression he had moved to Denver around that time i denied anything and everything to this day. That day my innocence was robbed from me. and the beginning of my life...