Unreachable Origins

Chapter 1 ~ Blood Moon

 The full moon pierced through the night sky, shedding pale light on the otherwise pitch-black night. Northwood was a quiet, small town atmosphere. Cracked and broken pavement, no traffic lights and memories cascading down every street. Brigette Fitzgeralds' scuffing echoed down Main st in rythmic beats. Hands jammed in her pockets, she strode quickly with her head down, almost with determination. Not that she had any on this particular evening..

She thought for a moment, not able to remember why she had came out in the first place... Or where she was going. A small voice inside urged her to turn around, but something tugged at her.. pushing her forward almost mechanically. 

Almost like this is a dream, she thought. I dont even know where im going...

 Everything seemed like a daze, leaving her disoriated and fuzzy headed. She couldnt concentrate, her legs moving effortlessly, arms weightless and unmovable. What was just a simple feeling began to well up inside her, pushing toward the river.

I dont want to go this way, she screamed in her head. I have to turn around!  Every house she walked by was lifeless, dark and devoid of people... Of witnesses.

Witnesses?!  She tried to speak aloud, but no sound emerged. Why cant I hear anything?

 She realized she could no longer hear her footsteps on the wet pavement, the peepers had fell silent. Her thoughts could barely break through. Panic rose through her chest as something unknown dragged her toward the bridge like a magnet to a paper clip. 

 Thats when she seen it. A small orb at first, high above the treeline just above the hill. She watched in awe as it rose silently, quickly juttin left, then right. Then toward her. Before her mind could conceive the questions running through the static in her head, the streetlight above her went out; leaving her motionless under it in complete darkness.

The only light came from the orb; so close she could see the lights circling around the outside... The shiny metallic finish on what seemed like the bottom. The disk hovered directly in front of her.

 She looked up in dismay, curious for some reason, no fear surging through her. Instead, she felt relieved. Like this was what she was meant for. This was the reason she was here.

She closed her eyes as the disk lowered, floating effortlessly above her. It was blinding, pure and electric. A sharp ringing enveloped her senses and she closed her eyes as if to somehow shield herself from it.. but it was unimportant, she couldn't understand why she didnt care. Her arms spread as if embracing and old friend, she let herself go.

 Then everything went blank.

Chapter 2 ~ But It Was Just A Dream..

 The first sound Brigette heard was very faint. A whooshing, a splatter. Rain? Wind? She was half expecting her eyes to stay shut, but they fluttered open immediately. The light was almost unbearable, she could swear it was burning her retinas. Slowly, images began to mold above her.. A ceiling? White tiles with speckles; a rectangle of harsh light. She looked down at her body, it seemed so far away.

Blue scrubs. Hospital... why am I in the hospital?

 This cant be real. Her mind raced, what happened? What day is it?  Every question went unanswered, making her shiver down to the core. She couldnt even recall her last memory.. 

 Her mouth felt dry and tasted like metal. A scuffling interrupted her panic, she realized she could actually hear. 

"Shes awake.." A soft womans voice, she sounded so far away.

"Inform her parents. I have to check her vitals" A strong males voice.

Doctor and nurse. My parents are here? How long have I been here?

 She tried to turn her head to the right, a sharp pain petruding in her left temple. She groaned inconherently, reaching for her head as if she could somehow stop the pain borrowing deep in her skull.

"Woah, woah. It's okay Brigette.. " The doctor took her hands softly, setting them on the bed. ""Where does it hurt?" 

Brigette tried to open her mouth, but pushing the words out seemed almost impossible.

"Do you remember anything?" He continued, listening to her heartbeat, writing something down on a notepad. " Do you know where you are?" 

 "hos-pital..." Her voice sounded so weak, so foreign like it wasn't even her own. 

"Yes, the hospital.. for now anyway. Do you remember what happened last night?"

She cleared her throat quietly, hoping her voice didnt fail her now, not now. "For now?" She blurted, relieved she didnt have to form a full sentence. Her mind was sharp and strangely collected, though she didn't feel connected to herself. Like they were completely seperate, in the same body. Her body ached, her arms burned. She looked down instinctively, trying to locate the source of the pain. Her arms were tiny, but the cuts seemed like they were larger then life. They traced every inch of her skin from her wrist to elbow, deep and jagged like she had taken a box cutter and went nuts. The pain seemed larger now, almost unbearable as her mind told her this wasnt real. 

These cant be my arms.. this cant be real. This is a dream. She closed her eyes tightly, trying to will herself to wake up.

"Brigette.." The doctor said quietly, "Do you know why your here?" He stood beside her silently for a moment, perhaps trying to piece his words together carefully. 

"They found you on the riverside. Naked, unconcience. We're running your bloodwork now." He paused for a moment, "Are you on any illegal or perscription drugs that we should know about?"

Brigette shook her head quickly. She didn't do drugs. She hated herself as much as the next person, but she had no need for them.. not since she was younger. 

 Brenda and Derek Fitzgerald entered room 419 quickly, her mother instantly sittin on the edge of her bed. 

"Oh honey.." Her mother cooed, rubbing her hair gently. "What happened? Why did you leave in the middle of the night? We were worried sick.. " Her mothers face was so sad, her eyes red and swollen. 

"I-" She started, " I-I- dont even remember leaving, I dont remember anything..." She touched the biggest cut on her left arm; straight like a ruler..

"Mr. and Mrs. Fitzgerald," The doctor extended his hand, "I'm Dr. Collins, may I have a word with you in the hall?"

"Is this completely necessary right now? we'd like to be with our daughter" Her father stated; it wasn't a question. Dr. Collins face grew distraught, and she wondered what exactly was keeping him from saying what he had to say in front of her. What was it he didnt want her to know?

Chapter 3 ~ Lockdown

A babies cry echoed through the hospital like a bleakening warning of inpending chaos. Brigettes eyes darted back and forth, as if she could locate the wailing infant. It sounded as though it was right beside her, screaming in her ears. 

They obviously think I'm insane, her mind countered. This didnt really suprise her, it sounded crazy in the first place. Waundering off in the middle of the night, somehow making it unconsious on the riverside. 

No reasonable explanation. No memory.

 She ran her fingertips over the cuts lightly once again, trying to recall any faint hint of recollection. She felt as though a fog had overcome her mind, everytime she tried to retrace her steps. 

The bridge. She urged her mind to wander, to break through the cloud. There was a light. Above the trees.

She opened her eyes quickly. She remembered something. The light. The orb, white and pulsating.

I stopped.. it moved, didnt it?

She was trying so hard to piece this together, make the links connect in her brain. It seemed so clear one minute, and completely lost the next.

Yes. It moved. Im sure of it. It came toward me.. The streetlight...

The streetlight! She recalled it had went out right above her as the orb decended from the tree tops. In her mind she looked up, the bulb humming quietly in the background.

Footsteps interrupted her concentration and sent the memories away as quickly as they came. Like she had never even recalled them in the first place. The fog returned and her parents walked through the door quickly, followed my the doctor. Her mother looked as though she had been crying and her fathers mouth was a straight line.

This seems promising. 

"Brigette.. " The doctor started. " I.. Er, well, your parents and I think its best if you spend a little time in our rehabilitation clinic. Attempted suicide is not taken lightly, and we can take complete care of you."

"Rehabilitation? Like a rehab or a nuthouse?" Brigette was not happy with this, with any of this. Why should she have to go anywhere? she knew she didnt try to kill herself, regardless of what anyone else thought. There was something more to this than what was going on in her head.

" I dont need anything like that mom, " Mrs.Fitzgerald looked down, hand placed over her mouth as if she was trying to hold in her words, her thoughts. Her feelings. " I didn't try to commit suicide! For god sakes, I dont even remember what happened. If I was going to do it, I would have done it right."

 The doctor shot a worried glance at her father, then flipped through his clipboard quickly, removing a pamplet from the back and handing it to her.

" This is our clinic. People go there for alot of different reasons. Drugs, alcohol. Eating disorders, " He paused abruptly, "Self harm."

 She looked down at her arms and sighed loudly, too loudly. She didnt want to be in this situation.. and for some reason her throat got dry and her chest tightened whenever he mentioned this clinic; Like something in her was warning her.. pushing the opposite way.

"It's a wonderful enviroment. We have great staff, 24/7 care. Theres even a pool in the back..." The doctor kept talking but she didnt hear the rest. She knew she was going regardless of what she said, fighting about it would probably make her seem even more looney then they already percieve her to be. She stared emotionless at the moniter on the wall, trying to adjust herself to what her life was going to become for the next.. 

"how long?" She blurted, interupting his sentence.

He stopped, for the first time looking into her eyes. "I cant tell you that Brigette, thats up to you."

Chapter 4: It Only Hurts If You Let It

 Something didn't feel right... Other than the throbbing surge of pain resting between her eyebrows. This was instinct. She felt fear of something unknown.

Their car pulled up to the main doors, her mother turning the key almost instantly, gazing at her with love in her eyes. Brigette felt this; knew it was happening. She didn't even look at her, instead letting her eyes wander to the entrance. The boy with blonde, shaggy hair walking quickly to the trunk of there car. 

She sighed quietly, "Mom.. i don't feel safe here."

 Mrs. Fitzgerald held her hand tightly, her voice filled with reassuring vibes."Oh sweety dont worry.. your completely safe. Theres fences around the whole property.. you don't have to stress about being safe honey, just concentrate on..  getting better."

The last two words sounded foreign... did she even believe herself?

Brigette knew it was unavoidable. The blonde haired boy closed their trunk and stood there figgity, looking down at her small suitcase by his feet. He shuffled from one foot to the other, looking back and forth from the street; unreachable beyond the large wired fence, to the double-doors of the entryway.

A tall slender woman stood in the middle, arms folded almost mechanically. She was thin, almost too thin. Her lips set in what looked like a permanent purse, she started down the stairs, blue eyes fixed on Brigette, who was still glued to the passenger seat of her mothers car, almost praying she could close her eyes and dissapear. Brigette watched this womans heels tap rythmically against the concrete, stopping abruptly beside her car door. She couldn't bring herself to look up, instead fiddling with her bracelet her bestfriend had given her last year on Christmas.. right before her grandfather had passed. The ends that were tied together were frayed, the charms worn and colorless. 

Brigette smiled, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. She couldn't do anything now, she would have to just play along..

  She sighed, opening the door and stepping onto Haven Heights grounds. The air was fresh, a breeze coming from somewhere beyond the trees felt soft and damp. The sky was a solid gray, removing the almost quiet comfort in the summer heat, threatening rain. Brigette closed her door and stood beside her mother, finally looking directly into this womans eyes.

 She extended her hand, holding her gaze a little too long. "Welcome to Haven Heights, Brigette. I'm Ms. Saunders, the head coordinater here. " She shook her mothers hand and gestured for the blonde haired boy to follow with her bag as she accended the steps. "Cohen, grab the suitcase." She continued, "Come along everyone! "She moved quickly and both brigette and her mother found it difficult to keep up. Brigette scolded at herself silently for being short of breath.

 Crist, its only a few stairs.  

The main entrance was absolutely agonizing. Every wall was bordered with pink and yellow flowers around the trim. All white. Why was everything so white?!" We keep the common rooms a neutral color so the guests are unaffected by the  emotions in colors themselves." Ms. Saunders said, answering her question though she hadn't said it aloud. " I know, its a little dull."She continued through her tour with little room for questions, as if she was rehearsing a childhood rhyme. Brigette didn't really hear her, she didn't care. God knows how long she'll be here... definitely long enough to know every nook and cranny; every tile, sound and smell would no doubt be burned into the back of her mind. 

Chapter 5: Amanda

 Haven Heights stood three stories. On the outside it looked old and strong like a castle, bordered in plant life... but the inside was a completely different story. The first floor left alot to be desired; bleach white walls that looked freshly painted, with 3 light gray couches lining the main room. A small wooden table nestled at the far left corner, weighed down with rows of books. A large television sat directly in the middle of the room. Though the common area appeared a Little less than adequate, Brigette assumed that this was probably the best feature of the house itself.

 Ms. Saunders continued to the kitchen; a small dining area and a very small section she declared as her office."My door is always open, day or night. " She glanced at Brigette with her permanent purse and hard blue eyes. She adverted the eye contact quickly.

Brigette was almost certain she would never have to come to her door at night, in the day or if her life depended on it. she gave her goosebumps... there was something offputting about Saunders that she couldn't quite put her finger on, but it was undoubtedly driving her nuts.

 Brigette laughed aloud at the irony of the thought, considering that was why she was here, wasnt it?  

The large wooden steps creaked, groaned and threatened under the weight as all 4 of them climbed one by one. Ms. Saunder led Mrs. Fitzgerald, Cohen and Brigette to the top of the stairs, pointing from one end to the other of two hallways directly opposite each other.

"Boys sleep on the right, and girls to the left." 

Brigette knew the tour would soon be over, her mother would leave and she would be left here; this place she didn't need, or want to be in. She just wanted to understand it all, but the pieces were missing in her mind like a jig saw puzzle. Scattered and in piles of colors, shapes and corners. So far from being put together. It nearly irritated her to the point of madness; knowing something is there, just beyond your reach and your unable to disipher or understand it. Ms.Saunders walked briskly through the left hallway, past every single door; stopping at the far end. Room 45. Brigette hoped for a one-bunker. But she knew instinctively she wuld have a room mate, it seemed too unlikely the girls or boys slept alone in each room, there jus wasn't enough room. She opened the door with a quick knock. Apparently privacy is non-existant, Brigette thought miserably.

She had never had to be in a place where she could not lock her own bedroom door. Where she could not be alone with herself and her thoughts. Her room was small and blue. Sky blue, with a white stripe along the edges and corners. Two beds sat opposite each other, both neatly tucked against the wall, one bed was draped with a neon colored-blanket, pictures and drawings scattered between the bed and the dresser. 

" And This.." Saunders paused, gesturing to the small, perky girl sitting on the flash of colors, " is Amanda, your new full-time room mate." 

 Brigette smiled weakly at the girl and adverted her eyes, unable to hide the flush rising up her neck. Amanda didnt seem to notice, instead jumping up quickly and shaking Brigettes mothers hand quickly. Her smile lighted her whole face, and she seemed genuily happy to meet them. 

"I just know were gonna be great friends!" she exclaimed, hugging Brigette quickly and jumping up and down like a hyper two year old.

'Oh great. My roommate is a lunatic child. ' Brigette glanced at her mother expectantly, pleading her silently.

 Mrs.Fitzgerald smiled weakly at her daughter, pulling her into her arms. "Im sorry baby.." she whispered, hugging Brigette tighter.She knew it wasn't her mothers fault she was here. But it wasnt her fault either.

A surge of pain errupted in the back of her head, pushing everything that wad welling up inside her brain behind a wall of blinding pain. Brigette stumbled backwards and out of her mothers grip, hitting Amandas dresser with a loud thud. She held her between her fingertips, as it pushed deeper into her brain. She felt a hand on her back but didnt open her eyes, actually squeezing them tighter as the pain receded to the base of her skull." brigette.. brigette! " 

 She opened her eyes and the room hadnt moved. Ms saunders stood by the door with her hand on the knob, the same expression written on her face since she met the woman; her mother had her hand on her shoulder tightly, her face pained and confused. Cohen and mr.Fitzgerald stared puzzled and startled at her. Did she imagine it? The pain had completely vanished, and she was unable to tell if the eposide had been what she thought happened when she closed her eyes; or what had actually happened.They seemed unsure of her, as if she was an alien in her own skin.

"Honey are you okay?" Mrs.Fitzgerald held her shoulder like a hawk.. not hard enough to hurt but strong enough to be irritating to the skin.

 Amanda sat quitely on her bed now, hands tucked between her legs.

"what happened?" Brigette asked aloud, to no one in particular.

"You just kind of.. screamed. " cohen muttered, stepping from one  foot to the other, cracking his knuckles one by one. He seemed uncomfortable, goofy and unpredictable. Brigette wondered why he was here... where he came from. "Really? i just screamed?" her parents exchanged worried glances. Saunders cleared her throat."Mr. And mrs. Fitzgerald, we have a few pages of paperwork to attend to if you wouldn't mind following me to my office. Brigette, your welcome to stay here or lounge in the common room until we're finished and its time to say goodbye." She didn't wait for a response, simply turning toward the door and striding quickly out of it, the rhythmic tapping of heels and her parents footsteps echoeing down the hallway and leaving her in this room with these two completely different people, and completely different problems.

Chapter 6~ its not gonna help

diary entry #1

Saying good bye to mom and dad was really hard. I cant believe they left me here. I kind of dont blame them, to be honest. When your daughter seems nuts, when she looks like someone took a potato peeler to there arms and cant remember how it happened, then i guess its easier to let someone try and fix it. I don't like Saunders, and i know for a fact she cant be the only quack in this place to talk with... if she is, ill never get out alive. The only good part about this place is being able to wear my own clothes... Tomorrow i get to start my day with a very early haven heights breakfest, and Group at 8:30. Great. Dinner is 12:15, supper is 6 "Sharp."i dont know what im going to do with myself with the time in between...I still cant remember what happened.. light. I was scared, then the pain comes back.. nestled in the back of my brain like a electric shock. I cant even think about sleep tonight.. day 1, here i come.

Amandas alarm rang extremely loud in the quiet but small room. Brigette awoke abruptly, practically screaming with the unearthly ring. It sounded foreign and too close to be real, as if it were only in her head.

 "Rise and shine girl! " Amanda practically sang, back towards her. She was smoothing out her comforter, fluffing the pillow and humming to herself. Brigette couldn't help but wonder why she was so exstatic in the morning. What was there around here that was so great to wake up for?

"Awful cheerful for someone held here against their will." Brigette muttered, pulling the blanket over her head and moaning.

 "Im not held here against my will, silly! " she giggled, looking in the mirror attatched to her dresser and fixed her hair. "I chose to be here."Brigette snorted, " your here.... because you want to be? who in the right mind would want to be in a mental institution?"

Amanda stopped, tucking a strand of light blonde hair behind her ear, staring curiously at brigette from the mirror. Her words didnt seem to jolt her. She seemed amused." To get better... of course."

Brigette didnt know how to react to this. "To get better from.. what?" Amandas smile dissapeared quickly, and for a moment brigette saw anger in those hazel eyes. She didn't answer until what seemed like minutes later, and brigette didnt know whether to consider her crazy, or half deaf.

"When i was 13 i loved horses. They were beautiful, and strong.." amanda reached into her top drawer and took out a small piece of newspaper, folded n torn on every corner. "She was my favorite horse. I picked her out when she was a foal.. we both did. Mom taught me everything i know.. we were a team. " she continued, rubbing the paper fondly between her fingers. Brigette hadnt even noticed she was sitting on her bed.

"She died 6 months ago, right before my mom died. I guess i just... couldn't deal, y'know? " Brigette nodded apologetically and wished she never asked.

"I kinda got into some heavy stuff " she said in almost a whisper, touching her arm almost mechanically. Brigette instinctively looked down an wished she didn't. Amandas vein trails were covered in little circular scars, as if they couldnt find the blood stream. Tiny needle holes scaled across every crease, between her fingers. Brigette hadnt noticed the night before, had barley spoken to the girl. But in the morning light shining through their pane Windows the needle marks were clear and almost petrifying."It felt so... good. I thought i needed it." She stood up abruptly and for the first time she wasnt giddy, or smiling."Hell, i still need it."Brigette got up and dug through her bag, trying to think of an appropriate thing to say."Well... " she started, "im glad your here.. because you don't need it. " she smiled and glanced over her shoulder, too tired to keep up the aggrevated attempt at not having to know each other. Amanda held her gaze, smiling appreciatively, " thanks girl.. " she made her way to the door. "see ya at breakfast!"

'Little too much to handle this early in the morning ' her mind muttered. And it was right, 7:00 AM was much too early for Brigette, accustomed to late nights and even later mornings. Everything still didn't feel real in this place.'Maybe im in a coma' she wished it were true but ultimately knew better.Her small bathroom had barely enough room for a shower and a toilet, let alone a sink; which wasnt there. A skinny full body mirror took its place, with just enough room to stand directly in front of the toilet.

 Sighing louder than necessary, brigette turned on the shower and got in immediately. The water felt amazing on her skin.. running down her back. She hadn't felt this good since the accident; almost forgotten she could feel content. It beat off her shoulders, cascading down her body in streams, washing away in her anger, the sadness.

 A loud knock on the door interrupted her almost peaceful thoughts like a knife through soft butter.Brigette wasnt used to being so emotional, or fragile. She felt confused almost constantly, and indecisive in every situation." umm.. yeah? " she called out. Why would anyone be in their room? "hello! " she yelled louder, obviously frustrated."Hey.. um.. its Cohen.. Saunders wanted to me to come get you.. your missing breakfast." His voices was muffled but Brigette heard him clearly. "Im coming!" turning off the

Shower and muttering under her breath."Sorry." Cohen said flatly, the sound of his footsteps fading, leaving everything silent again. Besides the inside of her head, which pounded with questions... and nonexistent answers.

Chapter 7 ~ Let Us Help You.

The dining area made Brigette feel even worse than she thought possible. There were alot more people here than she had expected and for some reason she felt small... and nervous. 

 Most of the tables had 2-3 people at it. Cohen sat at the far end table by a large gated window with two other boys. They were talking quietly, Cohen a resignated smirk on his face pushing his scrambled eggs back and forth with his plastic fork.

Brigette rarely ate breakfest and she didn't plan to start that routine any time soon. She grabbed an orange at the food serving station and scanned the room for Amanda, in need of a place to exist until Havens next schedueled task took place. Amanda was sitting by the entry with another girl.

How didn't I see her when I came in?

She was small, with long brown hair and a dark red tank top. She sat with her back towards Brigette, revealing a small tattoo on her right shoulder blade. TAINTED.

hmm, cute.. strange... She thought, approaching the table. "Hey, mind if I sit?" 

"Hey Brigette!" Amanda smiled warmly. Her plate was almost empty; a half-bite of burnt toast and bits of egg left on the edges. 

"Not at all please do" She gestured to the girl across from her with an over exagerated enthusiam, "Erica, this is my new room mate Brigette" 

Erica face smiled but her dark brown eyes did not. "Hey, its nice to meet you girl. Whatcha in for?"

"Erica! give her time to get used to all this.. " Amanda said, honest concern filling her voice.

"Well shit someones gonna ask her today, what makes the difference?" Erica sounded intimidating.. just a little. She had another tattoo on her hand, a symbol; her nails long and painted black and gold. A silver ring sat perfectly in the middle of her bottom lip, a silver bar with tiny red balls in her left eyebrow. 

 Brigette smiled as she sat down and laughed a little. She was used to intimidation; she could almost thrive off of it. 

"Its okay Amanda, no need to hide it." Erica caught her glance and they held eye contact for a couple seconds. "They think I tried to kill myself" Brigette said it quick and flat, leaving empty air in its wake.

 Ericas smirk twitched a bit but held true and didn't look away. " They think huh? You don't I take it."

Brigette broke eye contact and focused on the orange she had been absently playing with in her hands. She started digging at the peeling slowly, eyes averted. "No. I can't remember it. I woke up like this." She pulled up her sleeve quickly so they understood, revealing the now-scabbed gashes enveloping her arm, "I feel like.. This is a shitty dream" She finished flatly, continuing to peal the rest of her orange.

 Erica eyes looked sad, soft almost for a second, her expression seldom in that moment. Brigette smiled at her quickly, suddenly nervous.

why did i say that? I probably seem so fucked up. 

"Why are you here?" Brigette asked quickly, eating a slice of the orange. Erica giggled like a little girl, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms.

"I'm crazy honey. Can't ya tell?" She said with what Brigette assumed was sarcasm but she couldn't be sure. "They just keep bringing me back, must miss me" Erica voice raised and she turned to the woman serving breakfest at the front, "Isn't that right Donna?" The woman nodded and mumbled something under her breath, turning around.

Brigette was intrigued by Erica. She was sparatic, and beautiful. She seemed sharp like a nail, and free. Brigette felt herself drawn to this girl in some strange way, but her mind was dull and cracked; still foggy from the accident.

"Just like home!" Erica squeaked, clapping her hands together. "I'm going for a smoke." She stood quickly and leaned close to Brigette, "Nice to meet ya sweetheart" Brigette watched her mouth as she spoke, watching her bite her bottom lip lightly "Later Amanda!" And with that she turned abruptled and strolled through the entry doors leaving Brigette and Amanda in a quiet cloud for a moment. Brigette didn't want to get comfortable here, but she knew that she couldn't just keep to herself. She needed friends, and these two were an odd bunch but they seemed normal..

scratch that, maybe half normal... Brigette reasoned in her head.

"She's kind of.. different." Amanda spoke up, interrupted the nice silence Brigette was enjoying. She had a headache for the last 48 hours and it had finally started to recede. "She's a good person though, very um.. outspoken." Amanda grinned at her shyly, pushing away from the table and standing. 

"I have therapy in a couple minutes, but I'll see you in the lounge after okay?"

"Sure. See you later" Brigette waved and smiled politely, suddenly unsure of being alone at this table.

 She scanned the room silently, taking everything in. Most people were gone now, chairs left pulled out and garbage on a couple tables around the dinng room. Three girls sat in the middle of the room, trays void of food. They were banterng back and forth quietly, occasionally one would look around. Cohen still sat at his window table. She met his gaze from across the room and waved. 

Why is he staring at me? I wonder how long he was watchng me...

The other boys were gone. He stood and walked slowly to her table, smiling and shuffling back and forth. "Hey, you wanna get out of here?"

"We can leave?!" She blurted instantly, then blushed."Oh, you meant out of this room."

Cohen smiled, his eyes shining in the florescent light of the dining room. "Yes, lounge?" He chuckled and shoved his hands in his pockets, starting for the door.

 Brigette hadn't really thought of the possiblity that Cohen could be interested in her as anything more than a friend, and she'd hoped he wouldn't be in the first place. She hated to have to explain, and hear the same retorts, the same answers every guy said in those situations. It always ruined her outlook on the boy and she didnt want that to happen with Cohen because she was drawn to him. Not in a sexual way, or even a romantic way. It was just...

Subconsciously.. A voice in her head finished. There was no reasonable explanation, nothing made sense anymore. Her brain was cracking under the new knowledge, new faces and smells, colors. She felt exhausted and in pain.

Diary Entry #2

I met with my therapist today. I guess they will just come and get you when ever it is convenient. This whole "routine" thing isn't going to work well for me, i cant handle being told when to do things. She looks like shes in her 60's, but wno knows? Mrs.Johnson. All she does is ask questions, with that permanent frown glued to her face. I swear, her face must be stuck like that. 

 I told her about the orb of light, the last thing i can remember before whatever happened. She didnt seem too keen that I wont admit I tried to off myself. I'm not going to so she can stuff it. I know for a fact that something strange happened that night, and i am determined to find out what it is. We have no access to internet or libraries here, just a big pile of books nestled against a far wall on top of a table. I'm going to go through them but I dont see it very likely they have what I'm looking for. I need to find a way to unlock my own mind...

 I havent seen Erica since our first encounter at breakfest... she gives me a weird feeling. I've met alot of girls, but no one quite like her. Shes strange and mysterous. I want to ask her things, how old she is, where she grew up.. why is she so guarded? 

Brigette arose at 6, waiting for Amanda to get up and ready. She stayed immobile in bed, covers drawn to her face until she heard the bathroom door open.

"Morning.." She mumbled as she tossed the blanket and quickly walked into the bathroom. Amanda left the room a couple minutes later, and Brigette was so relieved. She wanted to go back to bed and sleep. Her headache had come back and she felt horrible. The long mirror adjacent to the toilet showed no mercy. Her hair was wild, probably from tossing and turning all night. She had lines creased under her eyes, and her skin was a pale white. 

I look dead... She thought miserably, flushing the toilet and crawling back into the single bed she would have to seep in for god knows how long. She was too tired and miserable to be awake. 

The bed was comfortable at that moment. She laid on her side and closed her eyes, trying to turn her mnd off. She felt peaceful...

Searing white light. Shadows.. Cold.. I feel so cold. I can't move.

What is that sound? A drill? A saw? Screaming. It's me, I'm screaming.

There above me.. what are they?  "Do not be afraid my child."  Whos that?

Unbearable pain in the back of my ear, WHY CANT I MOVE.

"HELP" "We are the creators. Soon, my child."

"I dont understand.." The burning pain increased. Blinding light, shadows. Skinny. 

Black oval eyes. Why are you doing this?

Darkness.

 Brigette awoke in a layer of sweat, her heart beating out of her chest. Her head somehow hurt much more then when she had fallen asleep. She was asleep, wasn't she? 

Her brain was running in circles, trying to understand the bits and pieces forcing themselves into a mostly-empty puzzle. A bolt of pain erupted through her skull concentrated behind her right ear and she cried out in pain involuntarily. Her fingers covered the spot as if to shield it, but touching it made it much worse. 

 An Orderly suddenly appeared at the door of her room, "Is everything okay Brigette? You missed breakfest."

Brigette didnt open her eyes, 

----- more to come!!!! sorry for the abrupt stop of this stry but it is a working progress, let me know if you like it or not!

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