Story -
Why did my innocence deserve to die
Her soul paces with her heartbeat in the dead of night The balance of stardust dances off her tears her gown glistening off the river so bright she waits an eternity for a ear to listen or arms of protection a source to heal the broken emptiness of neglection the sky bleeds with silence as her voice cries so high nobody hears the fire burning In her lungs Her ashes vomiting words why did my innocence deserve to die
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Hey I'm willing to take some feedback on my poems if anyone wants to comment on the other two poems I wrote
you poetry is very intense innocence lost can be reclaimed but never the same
nice write linda if you want to read mine feel free linda
Innocence can't be reclaimed Linda wright if that was the case we would all be virgins an there would be no criminal system
i am speaking spiritually mentally and emotionally
K well my poem is spiritually and emotionally based an spiritually innocence cannot be reclaimed or mentally it's like saying someone can forget where there innocence was lost and how it was lost so your wrong
You need to take a long hard look at yourself Angela and get help if you need it. Members of Cosmofunnel are trying to be nice by taking the time to read your work and leave constructive criticism. You must have so much anger inside you, it's seems as if you're just looking for an excuse to lash out. Good luck with your life - Syd