Women Become Bitter For Many Reasons & So Do Men -- So What's what?

Think about it, and ask yourself this: Did you suffer rejection or bad treatment from someone you care for? What was the "something" that certainly seems to have put the woman in the foul mood. There are many things and assumptions and in the end they all apply. Keeping in mind, that we all are entitled to feel anger - it's a natural emotion - some women are bitter for the same reason that some men (for example) act out and become hypersexual after being hurt. My ex husband used to be that way, just want to blur it all out with a good rutting!

It's because some PEOPLE are bitter. Some PEOPLE try to premptively reject anyone who they think may exhibit the behavior of the person who hurt them. Sometimes this includes anyone they encounter. Women don't corner the market on bitterness any more than men corner the market on acting out. These behaviors (among many others) cross gender lines. In both situations, it's a way of distancing themselves emotionally so they are not vulnerable to the pain again. It's an inability to process anger and hurt in a healthy way in order to move on.

Then, some people are JUST PLAIN UNHAPPY, and you can't change that. And finally, if this is just one bitter woman that you've encountered, then go out and find someone else who is pleasant and sweet - or try to understand her if you care for her. If this is almost every woman you meet, then you probably need to do some personal inventory; because if YOU are the only common denominator, maybe you are doing something to make them unhappy.
I will call myself out and even admit that I am at risk of becoming bitter because I am often resentful. Why? I really thought I would become "more" in my lifetime and I am now in my mid-Fifties living what most would consider to be a wonderful life with a husband, a good life, a nice condo.

I should be the happiest person in the world, right? Well, because of having a bitter mom who was not a great parent I had to work for everything the hardest way and by the time I found myself in a stable enough situation to do things that I actually want to do (rather than live in survival mode) I am now "older" and facing dozens of new responsibilities. I feel like my childhood was taken from me, I had to "make-up" for this by trying to even figure out who I was while dealing with a lot of hurdles (was on my own at 16 and made a TON of mistakes in my late teens early twenties) and I guess I just never really had the chance to venture out and be me.

I started working in an industry that would pay well (and have succeeded, truly) but I have never been passionate about it.
I cannot say why every bitter woman is bitter but I can explain the reasons of women I know and what I have observed. I believe it is due to unmet expectations in life and relationships. My mother is extremely bitter because she was raised to "get married and have a family" which is what she did. My father cheated on her, left her for another woman and is now wealthy. She, on the other hand, was so darn embattled due to the failed expectation of what she believed was "what she was supposed to do" that she never adjusted and moved on with her life.

Why do some women become and seem to become hostile like they are on one Freudian merry-go-round? It only takes a few minutes to realize when you are in the company of a bitter woman and you probably should have left the room and conversation hours before but you are rooted, which helped that woman with her own hostility toward you, you enabled her.

Sometimes we just want to answer our own views and questions and that way we can tell ourselves in the process. Maybe it is a man thinking about a bitter lady and he is hurt and sad because she may have slighted him in some way, trying to understand his own reaction levels to this negative thing the woman might put us closer to understanding her bitterness.

So - to battle the threat of becoming "bitter" I have enrolled in a creative writing class online and plan to start my blogging business up again at some point here. I do lots of free blogging on people and myself but I it takes practice and focus and you have to do it all the time, like keeping a tan. My beloved cat may be diagnosed with slight breathing problems due to dander and dust and who knows what in the air! We have to call in a vet to come to our home rather than take her to the doctors, and that's money, but we care for her so much, that it's worth it, it's not something to make me bitter.

I know men who, after going through a difficult relationship with a woman, decided to become "players". But this is not viewed as bitterness, or misdirected anger/pain. It's just overlooked as acceptable male behavior - and some of these guys are internalizing hurt and self medicating with sex. If you have ever heard one of your friends talk about why they aren't going to get into any more relationships after they've broken up with a girl, then you are closer to understanding why "some women are so bitter".

When some people have no argument or leg to stand on, they usually resort to either name calling or accusing their mate of not getting enough sexual activity. This is a much used tactic for a lot of (not all) old bitter feminists. I would assume they are bitter because they have lived their lives hating men, destroying families and children, thinking they have some sort of goal....time goes on, they get old and lonely, and wonder what the point of their life was...also realizing that careers are not fulfilling...I'd be bitter too.

I think she would have liked to have gone to college and lived a different lifestyle but she was so wrapped up in the "expectations" that she gave her life until 30 years old to a husband, children and her parents. Then, with no education and two kids she is on her own and though my grandparents (who are truly wonderful - just of a different era) supported her "their way" they were also very hard on her when she tried to have a life outside of us (even her job was considered not important but she needed to work to support us). She is most incredibly bitter woman I have ever met and she has a host of health problems to go with it now - probably because she has been miserable most of her life. It is a sad thing because she really has the potential to be amazing and this potential shines out of her for bits of time and then it is back to the bitterness and resentment. I think that bitterness is a learned way of living with a lot of resentment.

BITTERNESS IN WOMEN DOES HAVE REASONS, READ THIS LADIES PROBLEM:

I have traveled all over the World except Israel and The Orient. Also, I have felt that I have always had to sacrifice my dreams to be responsible for others and to "life" in general. This happened with writing and artistic gifts when I was young, and acting in my mid-twenties and now blogging in my mid-forties (all things that I love and now never do because I have so much to deal with all of the time).

I think what my mother and I have in common is that we make caring for others and security our priority which is very noble and responsible but we tend to "get lost" in the process because our needs aren't met by ourselves or those around us. For example, my mom traded personal development dreams to take care of a house, husband and raise two girls but the husband left and kids inevitably leave so she was left without anything to fall back on to make her happy.

So, long winded and a very personal answer but I bet if more women came forward (and men for that matter - I know a lot of bitter men too but they tend to be less self-sacrificing as a general rule) this would probably be close in spirit even if the facts are different.

Hey, if my husband leaves me for a younger woman when I'm in my Sixties with cat to raise and my entire life is consumed being a single woman again, I'll probably be pretty pissed off too. Hence the reason I am trying to find other things that bring me joy that nobody can take away from me. :-) I don't want to be bitter.

So bitterness does have a cause and effect, you just have to recognize it and be better for it. Try to overcome by thinking good thoughts. Whenever I give blood I sing while the needle is in, and it helps. Sing, write, read, learn, understand, be calm, think clearly and by all means FORGIVE!