Working the Bar in Beautiful Downtown Sodom & Gomorra (chapter 6)

Chapter      6

      After three years of working in a Chinese Restaurant and ONLY a Chinese Restaurant; the owners of that restaurant opened a new restaurant in the Cleveland area with a bar.

      Wild Mango (2000 – 2004) was an up-scale Asian/Fusion Restaurant in the Great Northern Mall. It had a long bar as soon as you came into the restaurant. One dining room went off to the left and another dinning room to the far right. The owners were not drinkers. They did not understand the dynamic involved to turn this place into a nightclub. They had mentioned it to me; however they did not like to be open late. They did not like people to get drunk, (drink yes – drunk no). And when ever it was slow they would close early. I knew that we would never have a “Bar Crowd”.

      When ever I had a couple at my bar, I would have playful banter with both the man & the woman but as a female, I should direct most of my conversation toward the lady. This is a non-threatening way of engaging both in the conversation, even if the gentleman is doing most of the talking. I have seen it many times; that after the cute, skinny waitress “worked” the gentleman client for a large tip, as soon as he walked away from the table the lady would go back for the tip. If you make the lady feel important, she will make sure the gentleman leaves you a nice tip, instead of stealing it.

      One evening the restaurant was fully booked with Christmas parties. The table of twelve was seated to the far right. These people were elderly with an average age of 60; they were well to do with expensive clothing. Next to them was sat a table of twenty-five. These people were much younger, (perhaps early thirties). The 25 appeared to be a party of co-workers. They were also well to do, with nice suits, but there was one very big difference; this party came in a large limo-bus. They were not driving home, and they had already drunk a lot before they got to our restaurant.

      Right from the start, as soon as they sat down, one of the menus knocked over a glass of water on the table and it spilled. When the glass spilled, some of the water splashed a crossed the table to the 12. When the water splashed onto a lady with the 12 she got up and complained to the 25. When Jeff (part of the 25) heard the complaint of the lady from the 12 he verbally attacked her. When the lady from the 12 heard Jeff’s response, (despite the hesitation from the 25) she threatened Jeff. When Jeff heard the threat, he responded with some vulgar intimidation of his own.

      At this point, the servers from the two tables began talking about the ordeal very close to the bar, where I heard, “And I think that they may come to blows!” If the servers tried to intervene, it could affect their tip drastically. If they do nothing, one party, or all of them could leave the restaurant. This is now my problem! These people (the servers) were unfamiliar with the typical drunken bar crowd that I was accustomed to. I got a small briefing on the situation, and then I went in to evaluate the problem and do damage control.

      When I approached the tables, I stood on the end between both of them. With a huge smile on my face, I said, “Hey kids! What’s happening?” Jeff (25) stood up and said to me, “Who the fuck are you?” I said, “My name is Nancy, is there a problem here?”  Jeff, very confrontationally, asked me, “Why are you here?” If I told Jeff about the waiters’ conversation, there was a good possibility both tables could have left, or at least both tables would have stiffed their servers on their tips .Nobody likes a tattletale, especially a drunk, and there were two here. Food had been ordered, the rest of the people were trying to have a good time at their Christmas party. There were really only two people involved in this conflict. So, I lied. I told them that I was the bartender, and customers were coming up to the bar to tell me about a scuffle in the dining room. I told the two parties that some customers were leaving because of it. Jeff (25) said, “Who?” I pointed to the only two tables that were empty. It was a good lie. I could see that Jeff was the biggest problem in this situation. As a result, I asked, “Jeff, can I buy you a drink at the bar?” Of course Jeff was not about to turn down a free drink, drunks rarely do. So, Jeff and I went to the bar.

      I knew that if I could keep him there for at least an hour, everyone else would have time to finish his or her dinner. I asked Jeff if he wanted anything to eat. He told me, “The food in this place tasted like shit!” If I were going to calm this man down, I was going to have to make friends with him. So I started out by apologizing for the behavior of the other table (12). Jeff’s response was, “You’re a stupid bitch!” I said, “Well I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed, but the lady at the other table was an idiot.” He agreed with me. A common enemy causes people to bond, so I blamed her for everything, and I agreed with everything that Jeff said. “This fucking restaurant sucks!” I said, “You’re right, this is the worst place that I have ever worked. Jeff; “This mall fucking sucks too!” I said, “This mall has been going down hill for years.” Jeff; “The fucking staff at this shit hole restaurant are all incompetent mother fuckers.” I agreed stating how hard it was to find good help nowadays. Everything Jeff said I agreed to and took his side.

      The entire time I sat and talked to Jeff, my bar back Rajiv (a 4th year law student attending Case Western Reserve in Cleveland) was just steaming about the abuse I was taking at the hands of Jeff. Rajiv was a good guy; his mother was about the same age as me, and we had worked together for these restaurant owners a few times before. I have grown quit fond of Rajiv, just as if he was my boy. At one point Jeff said, “I’ve got the right to drink when ever I want to, I’m over 21. I’ll drink when ever or where ever I want!” Then Rajiv made a big mistake. He said, “That is a privilege not a right!” My little law student did not know enough about drunks to know that you cannot reason with them. His righteous indignation has pissed off Jeff! Now Jeff is standing up on his haunches ready to punch out Rajiv. The only way to defuse the situation is to belittle Rajiv. Jeff probably wouldn’t have hit the old lady but he was ready to hit my bar back.  I immediately interjected, “Rajiv! SHUT UP!!! Don’t talk to my customers. Mind your own business and do the dishes!” I was very stern. It was cruel, but I wanted Jeff to back down. He was in a good mood before.  It only took a minute or two to quiet Jeff again.

      We had been talking about forty minutes, when someone from his table came into the bar, sat beside Jeff and bought us a drink. I could see that Jeff’s friend was greatful to me for smoothing out the circumstances. While they talked for a minute, I took Rajiv aside. I apologized for my comments to him, and stated the likelihood that his remarks would have caused a more drastic outcome than the previous circumstances. I educated him on the fact that most men wouldn’t hit a woman in this instance, but they would hit a man.

      Then I went back to Jeff and his friend. They bought me a drink, his friend said that he was going back to the table to finish his dessert. I knew that they would be leaving soon. I saw the people from the table of 12 putting on their coats, getting ready to walk out the front door. I was so happy, and Jeff only quietly remarked about them as they walked out.

      AND THEN IT HAPPENED!!! The frail elderly lady that I had assumed was verbally brutalized by Jeff and I felt quit sorry for her; walked right up to Jeff, (now minding his own business), and picked a fight with him. Couldn’t she take the high road? I was sarcastically blaming her the entire time I spent with Jeff, but I sincerely believed that Jeff was responsible for the entire altercation. That Bitch, in ten seconds, destroyed over an hour of my precious time calming Jeff down. Now I wanted to kill her myself.

      I did not talk about all the good people that I have met over the years, in all the bars that I have worked in, about the angels, the misunderstood and the lost. The good guy with the overbearing wife, or the nice girl with the husband who’s a loser. Maybe I will leave that for another book.

Now get out!

        You don’t have to go home,

                   But you can’t stay here!

Goodnight & drive safe!