You me and our Irish dreams

She was barely seventeen and madly in love, that summer they used to talk, talk about their dreams and the fantasies and the stories they created, it all was more than she ever wanted, all she ever needed, all she ever dreamt of.  “It was you me and my Irish dreams!” she once said.

The year had just begun, but time was flying so fast with life as we know it. April came and the summer spring was almost gone... The Carstens family lived in a beautiful home near the country side and had a daughter named Paige. She was a small town girl, but quite a dreamer. Her imaginations were bewildered by the magnificence of beauty, her hazel brown eyes were so soft and kind and she had long blond hair surrounding her face...

Mr. Chris Carstens was a lawyer and his wife, Eliza a Musical and Art teacher, and for Paige...

Just another day of school...

She was barely seventeen and madly in love, but her parents didn’t approve. Her whole future was already planned. They wanted her to become a doctor or social worker, but they had no idea what she had planned herself.

Paige wanted to become President or maybe an actress someday. Wanting to do more with her talent than just becoming rich and famous, to travel the world and making a difference, to get married in Ireland and live happily ever after.

Louis Klein, the mysterious boy she met, studied Music Theory at UNISA and was the owner of Kleinman Industries, Head Tutor, made drumming videos and covers songs and of course gave drum lessons. He was quite a bit older than most expected, but she wasn’t interested in what he did for a living. For she wanted to know what he ached for and if he dared to dream of meeting his heart’s longing. She wasn’t interested in his age; she wanted to know if he will risk looking like a fool for love, for his dream, for the adventure of being alive.

That summer they used to talk, talk about their dreams and the fantasies and the stories they created, it all was more than she ever wanted, all she ever needed, and all she ever dreamt of.  “It was you me and my Irish dreams!”                    She once said. And of course, they both shared a faith in Christ.

The days of the week rushed by like any other. Paige’s parents arrived from work at five and dinner was at seven, the usual.

 “Mum...” she said. “Do you really think it’s necessary to go through all of these papers and books and rules to become a doctor?” as she slides it on the table.

“Of course it’s necessary, how do you want to achieve your dream by not studying?”

“That’s not what I meant...”  Both of them fell silent for a moment.

 “I don’t want to become a doctor, I want to be a performer, I’d love to write and maybe someday create my own story...”

“Is that what you want? Do you want to throw everything down the drain that you’ve worked for, and just drop out? You have your whole life in front of you Paige!”

“Like you said mum, I’ve got my whole life in front of me!” She paused to let it sink in.

 “Remember when you said I have to chase after my dreams, no matter the cores of life, while I’m going for it!” she added.

Eliza just kept quiet, her eyes were fixed on Paige, but it was as if she was trying to look through her, to someone or something else, off in the distance and walked away.

But that didn’t get Paige down. She never gave up, never! She had this secret place when ever when she wanted to be alone, there she went and nobody knew except Louis. Even though that was a big step to reveal her secret, she knew with a pang of regret that this boy wouldn’t let her rest! For she still believed in destiny, that they were meant to be...

It was already past twelve when she decided to give her dreams a chance and closed her eyes. It was something beautiful, somewhere in fairyland; there she laid her head down to rest. Only then she could live out her dreams, where everything was perfect, no fear, no tears, just laughter and joy and happiness!

That next morning she woke up, grabbed her bicycle and hit the road.

The colours of nature and the perfumes of the flowers and grass are fresh and chilled spring breeze danced over her skin as she fell in love with nature’s perfection. There he was... waiting ever so patiently.

Louis turned around when he heard a soft voice calling out his name.

He looked at Paige like never before, stood up and said: “You look beautiful!” She just smiled and gave him a long intensive hug.

It was a warm, quiet and wonderful place to feel anonymous, to escape, to be alone. It was their secret hideaway from home from crowded rooms and speechless tones. The trees were wrestles and so was his heart. Sitting next to her under the dead oak, though, he wanted to whisper a sweet word, but he started to choke.

“Are you alright?” she laughed.

Louis looked at her as the sun shone upon her dark brown eyes, full of grace and asked: “Tell me...How you would like to live in Ireland someday?”

“Well...” She said. “I don’t want a very big house, until I get married, something cosy and warm. Where we can sit in front of a fire place, where our hands are frozen, but the heart so warm.  I can’t describe it, something like a picture I once sent you! I want be able to seek your face in my dreams, but wake up in the morning seeing the face I’ve been looking for. I want to come home at night in my little old fashioned car, one where we can go to town with and just escape into our little own world. A place where we could be in love, forever...”

“Wow that sounds amazing!!” He said.

“And you, how would you describe it?”

“I want to wake up in our own little cottage, make you coffee and give you a kiss, good morning. I want to tell you that I’m working today and meet me at Harrigans in your beautiful white summer dress after work. Where we can have a drink and be ourselves... I’ll get an Irish band and sing you a song.” He added.

“Oh stop it; you’re going to make me cry...” Paige whispered.

“Did I say something wrong?” Louis asked

“No not at all. It’s just...It’s everything I’ve ever dreamt of and so much more...”

“Well Paige, I’d love to share more than my dreams with you, if you don’t mind?”

Paige just kept quiet and looked at the riverside as the water broke the silence. It was getting late, the moonlight bouncing off her pale white skin.

He gazed into her eyes. He was trapped, trapped in love, and moved closer to touch his lips with hers in an unforgettable passionate way. He held her.

His heart felt in peace, they drifted away to a better place, where they could be in love, forever...

“Was it true or just a rumour going round amongst the trees? Was it real or was it just a fantasy? Did I hear upon the breeze, blackbirds tuning up their flutes and morning thrushes practising? Was it lovely and romantic airs that made my dream a dream of spring?

Maybe it was wishful thinking, just a hope that came too soon, something imagined within my heart on that warm summer evening, yet remembering that secret notes and hearing those first sweet chords.” 

In a double dream, she spelled out the storm, the running streams. The beats were too swift, the notes shifted in the dark. Music when soft voices die vibrated in her memory of the day before.

Waking up with the sun shining through the clouds, the bit of spark there was that shone upon the mirrors reflection.

It’s a cloudy rainy day, staring out the window.

Thinking why it should like this?

Why people are who they are? Why they act how they act, and why this question has no answer to this world. Sometimes these questions are all so difficult, but the answers, yet so simple.

Sometimes life gets rough, leaving people with doubts, wondering what next.

Sometimes relationships end, leaving broken hearts, people falling apart.

Distance, saying I love you, without any emotion or step towards them.

Living with regret and running around, leaving scares and a question to be answered. Why?

She was staring out the window, listening to the pure simple bliss, the rain dripping drop by drop on the leaves of a tree .Singing herself a quiet lullaby, finding it difficult to think, and sometimes left without a thought.

The thunder compared with people and their madness to others, for the mistakes they made, the things they did, and the way they acted.

The rain was all the tears they cried, broken hearts, being left alone, thrown away.

The clouds compared with every moment of life, emotions, thoughts, time, the emptiness and a question to the world waiting to be answered.

She was staring out the window and saw a bit of light through the clouds that shone right towards her, leaving her with that thought,-faith-

There is still hope!     

Time was slow when they were young, but as the years proceed, time stepped out and seemed to move twice its former speed. Swiftly their milestones past and saw them flashing by. Time raced and seasons flown and with a shock they found that youth has fled and a life was half gone...

“Let us pause to look within before we hurry on.” She said. “Where exactly are we going, where and why and how? What if God has other plans for us? What if this wasn’t our destiny? What if...”

Louis interrupted her. “Do not think upon the future, it’s not yours to plan. Only your Maker knows how, where and when! We should live each hour as if it’s our last.”

Paige looked down. All those times thoughts came and gone and her mind was never still. With thoughts of this and thoughts of that, the passing hours of life they filled.

Louis took her hands, held them and said: “Come to Ireland with me!!”

She was silent for a moment and looked up at him... Her eyes were so soft and kind, yet a tear away. She gave him a hug and whispered: “I’d love to come with you.”

Their life was a road, a road that seemed to run smooth and straight until they had to take an unexpected turn. That hit Paige with old familiar ways, old photographs and memories. She felt as cold as stone wondering if she was regretting anything from the past or the presence, perhaps... everything was strange at first, but maybe that unexpected turn was the most important turning on her road of destiny.

They made the most of summertime before the best days past, they walked upon the grass and went where the birds made music and the wild roses bloomed. She met him at Harrigans in her white summer dress as once dreamt, they had a drink, made silly jokes and took the chance to be themselves. They danced underneath the moonlight and went home after midnight.

It was a dawn of a new day and as they lied in bed, he watched her sleep. Louis was about to leave for work, gently kissed her goodbye so she won’t awake from her slumber and left her a little note beside the bed, describing his feelings in a detailed poem. It was a warm summer day in Ireland and the breeze was oh so lovely. He returned from work, grabbing Paige from behind ...kissing her with passion and never letting go!

 The autumn leaves had just fallen and it was winter once again. She made dinner on that cold winters evening. They sat in candlelit rooms and talked till the sun broke dawn, yet still white with frost and skies were dark. She was sad that night and Louis just grabbed his guitar and started to sing.

Only then fear grabbed her like a vice, the fear of not being with him, the fear of being alone, the fear that the single piece of her heart she gave him will be broken, but only time could tell them how.

On Sundays they went to a small church on top of the hill. Overlooking the countryside...He got down on one knee and asked her hand forever and always. She said yes and they were together as one!

They lived in their own little Irish cottage and were never apart. They got married she played him the song on they day they first met ‘Your Guardian Angel’ by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.

 “You are my true love, my whole heart.” Paige said.

 “And the day you may not be there anymore, that would be the day I remembered tears streaming down your face when I told you, I’d love you forever and always.”  She added.