You Think You Know Someone...

     You think you know someone, and suddenly, everything changes! You’re at that time in your life where, you’re at school and friends mean a lot. Your friends are what keep you going, what make you happy and to have them stick by you is very important. A best friend is also going to be a huge part of your life, they are the person you can turn to in a time of need, they are the person that will always know how to put a smile back on your face even if at that moment, you hate the world. But when you have a best friend who turns their back on you, leaves you in the cold with no explanation, it hurts, deep, and there doesn’t seem to be much point in friendship anymore.
 
     My best friend was Rosie, a girl I’ve known all my life. Her mum and my mum were best friends too when they were younger, but they had a falling out, funny that. Rosie and I were like sisters, knew near enough everything there was to know about one another. We were little trouble makers, thick as thieves and amazingly weird! My names Georgie by the way, but Rosie used to call me “Curious George”, after the cartoon monkey! Thanks Rosh! Oh, that’s what I used to call her by the way, “Rosh”, never really knew where it came from, but it stuck and she seemed to like it. We were 13 years old and Rosie and I were like twins, we did everything together, we had the same taste in all aspects of life. Same hair style and colour, same eyes, same dress sense. We really did look like twins. Lovely long brown hair down our backs, wore a lot of pink, skirts, dresses, and even when we decided today would be a “boy day”, we had different colour jeans, cute tops and warm woolly jumpers. Unfortunately, things have changed a bit now, I will explain why but first let’s explain what today looks like. I am a bit of a tomboy, I wear a lot of black baggy clothes, no makeup, beanie hat on pretty much 24/7, and some would say I had a little attitude to go with my look at times. Rosie on the other hand has gone down the “slut” route. Make up is her new best friend! Miniskirts and skimpy tops which leave nothing to the imagination, classy Rosie! She hangs around with a new group of friends now, a total gang of plastic, stuck up, rich bitches! Rosie won’t even speak to me anymore, says that I’m weird and probably turning into a lesbian. Rosie, sweet little Rosie I grew up with is turning into the queen of sluts!
     I wish in some ways Rosie and I never lost our friendship, I loved her so much, she was my best friend after all. When things went wrong it was like losing a part of me. We always had a laugh, but she really did over step the mark this time. I will explain this story, in a short but detailed way. I really don’t like being horrible about anyone, I like to stay away from most of the negativity, however what I am about to explain is all true, no twisting it like most people I know. Here is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the damn right ugly truth!
 
     It was the last week of school before the summer holidays. Rosie’s family and my family were going on holiday together to Spain. Although Rosie’s mum and mine had their falling out, they always remained civil and insisted that they make the effort for the sake of us kids. This holiday had been planned for over a month! Rosie and I made lists of everything we would be taking, little nerdy I know. But holidays were exciting, we didn’t want to miss anything and we certainly didn’t want to waste any time when we were there searching around for something we may or may not have brought with us.
     Monday at school was fine, we hung out with our usual group of friends. Laughing and joking about silly little things. Inside jokes no one else outside of our group would understand. I remember that Monday very well, because our friend Mark climbed up onto the roof of the Science block, he was trying to get his football back. And after a few attempts of throwing other items at it, like his shoe! He went on a climbing mission. However, it wasn’t like the movies where the mission goes well all the way through or has a hiccup but the mission gets completed. Mark had a little fall, and the football remains on the roof, along with his shoe! *giggles*.
     Tuesday came around, again not much change at first. The day started off fine, jokes were made, games were played. We did the usual girly gossip of which celebrities at the time were hot or not. TV show story lines were discussed and what we would do to change them if we had the chance. But once that final bell of the day rung, Rosie pulled me aside before we went home. “Do we have to go to Spain?”, Rosie asked me with such a blank look on her face. I didn’t really know how to take the question, I was a little put back by it, confused and annoyed that she would even ask as we had planned for so long and as far as I was aware, really excited about it. I told her we had to go as our parents wouldn’t just cancel it, I also asked her why she asked me. Rosie shrugged, she didn’t give me a reason, just sighed a little and walked off. When I got home on Tuesday I ran upstairs to my room. My mum always liked me to have my homework done the same day so I wouldn’t fall behind, and yes, I know, one day I will thank her, right? Well anyway, I did my homework and shoved all my books back into my bag and got changed. I rung Rosie but didn’t get an answer, so I tried again. It just rang and rang, didn’t even go to answer phone. I went downstairs and asked my mum if she would be able to take me over to her house, I figured maybe she didn’t answer because her phone was left upstairs or she was in the shower, or most likely her music was playing so loud she didn’t hear it ring. Mum agreed and we left for her house. I remember all the trees, looking out the window while driving down the long streets with trees either side, the sun was shining so bright through the gaps. We arrived at Rosie’s house and as I got out the car my mum left. I started walking up the long path to her front door. She was very lucky to live in such a gorgeous house, an old Victorian type manor, beautiful white house with dark brown shutters, gigantic wooden front door. My dream house if I’m honest. As I got near to the front door I saw Rosie’s mum leave the house from the side door by the driveway. She didn’t see me, just got into her very expensive Mercedes and drove off. I stepped up to the front door and knocked loudly, I couldn’t use the doorbell as Rosie and I broke it a few weeks ago, pressing it too many times. I still don’t know if her parents know its broken yet! There was no answer, so I knocked again, louder. Still nothing. I stepped back away from the house a bit and looked up at Rosie’s bedroom window, shouted for her, but I had no reply. Sitting on the porch step I waited for her to answer. Suddenly I saw Rosie walking up the path, “where have you been” I asked her while she walked past me putting her key in the lock. She didn’t even look at me when she said, “out”. I followed her into the house, she dropped her stuff on the floor and went into the living room and slumped back in the armchair in the corner. I sat on the sofa and waited for her to say something. “I was over Fiona’s house, happy now?”, Rosie snapped at me. I was shocked, as Fiona was a complete bitch, one of the plastic girls from school, had her little group of friends which in my opinion, and others too, she bought their loyalty. She came from a very wealthy family, always liked to splash out the cash on her friends. Makes you wonder if she didn’t have money would any of these so-called mates of hers still stick around. They were all as bad as each other. I asked Rosie why she was round there when she had always told me she was horrible and not worth the time of day. Rosie got up and snapped at me again, “you’re just jealous! Fiona is my friend and not yours! It’s pathetic really. But hey, you want to be funny about it Georgie, then you know exactly where the door is!” I was too upset to say anything, I just got up and walked out. As I got to the end of the path I was kind of expecting Rosie to rush out and apologise to me. But she didn’t. I made my way home, all the while thinking of what could have gone wrong. Did I miss something, did I do something?
     Wednesday, what an awful day that turned out to be. Rosie completely ignored me at school. She was hanging around with Fiona and her little minions. I went and sat with my friends. Louise looked at me and said she overheard Fiona saying that I was a lesbian and that Rosie had agreed. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, this was so unlike Rosie. I didn’t want to believe it, I could have confronted her about it, however if I was wrong that would have made things worse. The entire day felt awkward, we passed each other in the halls and not even a nod was shared. The last bell rang and I saw Rosie walking off with some of her new friends. No, “goodbye, see you tomorrow”.
     Thursday wasn’t much better, things were still awkward. I still wasn’t sure what exactly was going on. My head was working overtime to try and figure it out. I thought maybe it was all a joke, or maybe it wasn’t. Maybe I have done something wrong. Maybe I had said something or made a joke that was taken personally. I couldn’t quite figure it out. If I’m honest, it was exhausting. It was break, and I saw Rosie walking alone, I quickly grabbed her arm and pulled her behind the back of the History block. “Can you please tell me what is going on!?”, I asked her. She looked me up and down, signed, made a very sad expression. What I heard next, shocked me. “Georgie, its ok”, she placed her hand on my shoulder and pulled me in for a hug, squeezed me tight and said, “I just don’t really want to be friends with you anymore. We have been friends for so long, always doing things together and well, I’m bored of you. We do the same things all the time, it’s pathetic and, I think you’re a lesbian. Don’t get me wrong, nothing wrong with it if you are, it’s just, you like me, I can tell, and its awkward and weird and I can’t be friends with someone like you”. I swung my arm back and slapped Rosie across the face, I didn’t even know I had done it until it was over. I shouted in her face, “you think I’m a fucking lesbian and that’s why you’re acting as thought I’m not even here!? Are you actually being serious right now!?” Rosie looked at me and said she probably deserved the slap, but it didn’t change anything. She walked away without a care in the world, she didn’t give a toss about how I was feeling and how this would change things in my life. “don’t walk away from me!” I shouted at her again, she turned around, walked back towards me, and said, “you know something Georgie, you always want to be around me, you always copy me, you always want to stay around my house and be with me 24/7. Don’t you think that’s a little weird?”, I told her we were meant to be best friends, that what happens. Rosie sighed for what felt like the hundredth time, “no, that’s not what they do that’s what weird little dykes do! Stop following me, stop trying to call me. We are not friends, you are nothing but a little love sick lesbian puppy! You’re pathetic, you should be thanking me. I did you a favour, I told everyone here about you and your sick twisted lesbian ways, now you’re popular. Maybe not in the way you would have liked to be, but at least people know your name now. I’ve done the hard bit, making sure people know, you have to now tell your parents”. I wanted the ground the swallow me up, this is stupid, “why would I tell my parents something that isn’t true!? And what the hell did I ever do to you?”. Rosie leaned in close and whispered, “if you don’t tell your parents, I will”.
     This was a complete nightmare. I didn’t know what to do with myself. My best friend of so many years was doing this to me and genuinely didn’t care. As I was walking around school so many people were staring, pointing, laughing, the whispers, the weird looks, it was like being in a fish bowl and everyone wanted a look in. I walked by Fiona, Rosie and their gang. “Careful Rosie!” shouted Fiona, “Georgie might try and touch you again!” They all laughed, it was humiliating. I held my head down and walked home and tried to think of something I could do to stop all this.
     Friday was here! The last day of school thank God! The holiday to Spain was soon, even though the thought of going with Rosie now made me feel sick. I walked into my tutor room and everyone went quiet. Don’t make it too obvious or anything, right?! My friend Sam came up to me and gave me a hug and asked if I wanted to take a walk. I agreed, so myself, Sam and two of our other friends, Holly and Adam walked down to the little stream a short walk from the gate into school. We all sat on the long tree trunks that had fallen over. Holly and Adam spoke about how they couldn’t believe Rosie could turn into a plastic bimbo. They didn’t believe a word she was saying. It was nice to have some friends left that would stick by me. Adam was laughing about how stupid they all looked plastered in makeup. Sam was quiet, he asked me speak to me alone. Holly and Adam made their way back to school and left Sam and I to talk. He sat right next to me and held my hand, leant in and gave me a kiss. I was kissing Sam! I was too shocked to actually ask him why he kissed me, but before I even could he explained, “you’re an amazing girl Georgie. I have liked you for so long, too long! I don’t believe all this rubbish people are saying. You are beautiful and kind and I want to be with you, properly. So, will you be my girlfriend?” Again, shock was taking over, of course I agreed, Sam was so handsome, he could have chosen any girl, but he chose me. He was smart and kind. I was very lucky to have him. Although guilt set in. He will get so much stick for being with me, people will say it’s a cover up and blame him. I needed to be happy though. Less than an hour later word had spread all around school, and of course I was right. The rumours started about it being a cover up.
     Sam and I were sat on the bench just talking when Rosie came over and asked for a private chat with me. Sam looked at me and told me to ignore what everyone else was saying, listen to what Rosie had to say and come right back to him. So, I did, I walked around the school with Rosie for a while. Rosie said, “look Georgie, I started this whole lesbian thing for a little bit of drama in my life. I was sick of the same routine and the same friends. I wanted to know what it would be like to be in with the popular kids. And I guess now I know, and I love it by the way. So, I hope you understand you have done me a favour”. I ran off crying, I didn’t go back to Sam, I literally went straight home. You think you know someone and then they turn out to be the opposite of what you thought. What a way to start the summer eh? I lost my best friend, everyone thought I was a lesbian, people starting picking on Sam for dating me and to put that delicious cherry on the cake, my mum told me the holiday to Spain was off. What exactly had I done to deserve all this crap!?
     The summer was slow, I changed all there was about me, I dyed my hair black, started being more of a tomboy, baggy clothes, beanie hats, I guess it didn’t help with the whole lesbian thing. But I needed a new identity. I hung out with the few friends I had left. Did the usual cinema, park, bowling thing. Sam and I went on a few dates and hung out at his house. I still couldn’t believe Rosie had been so spiteful, but I wanted to try and forget, hence all the changes. I found out that over the summer Rosie made a few changes of her own. Bleached her hair blonde, make up plastered on her face, genuinely appeared like she had had some work done! But if she really wanted to be popular and turn slutty that was her call.
     Near the end of summer my mum started asking questions about myself and Rosie, what exactly was going on and such. Luckily no word about the whole lesbian thing had got back to my mum or dad, but I had to explain that we just drifted. “Things change” I said. The last day of summer came by fast and me being me thought I would go and see Rosie, try and fix something before school starts as we all know it would have gone back to be exactly as it was before we all left. I grabbed my coat and bag and headed for her house. I wasn’t naive enough to think she would be apologetic and happy to see me. But I thought at least she may be able to be civil and stop anymore stupid rumours.
     I got to Rosie’s house and she answered the door, she was wearing a mini skirt, crop top, high heel boots, she looked like a Barbie Doll, but a slutty Barbie Doll! “What the actual Hell are you doing here!?” she asked. “I want to talk, doesn’t have to be for very long, but we need a chat, don’t you think?” I replied hoping for a civilised conversation. Rosie stepped outside and shut the door behind her. “Georgie, Lesbian, Dyke, Butch or whatever name you go by now, I don’t want to be seen with you. In fact, I don’t even want you near me or my house. I don’t want to catch anything from you. We are not friends, we will never be friends, so get lost!” Rosie shouted and went back inside, slammed the door behind her. So much for that civilised conversation I mentioned. I went to walk away and I heard the door open again, it was Rosie, she threw a friendship bracelet at me, it was the one I made for her years ago, “And you can take this piece of shit with you!” I picked the bracelet off the floor and looked back at her. Stood behind Rosie was Fiona and some other people I didn’t recognise. “Give it to her Rose!” Fiona said. Rosie walked towards me and said one final thing, “see those girls? Those are my real friends, they get me, they understand me, and they will always have my back. You, you’re a pathetic little dyke with no life, no friends and no future. You make me sick Georgie! I hate you! I was only ever friends with you out of pity”, Fiona was laughing, really loud. I felt sick, I was so hurt. “Now can you get the fuck off my property!” Rosie screamed at me. That was September 4th, the worst day of my life!
     I was dreading school the next day, seeing Rosie after what she had just said to me. The looks I will still be getting from people. My life had turned into absolute shit.
     First day of school after the holidays, oh the joy! I walked through the gates and no one was saying anything. I was really surprised. I walked by loads of people who didn’t even bother to look up. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad first day back after all. I walked up the flight of stairs to my tutor room, I passed Fiona who didn’t say a word, it was peaceful, too peaceful. I saw Rosie with Adam and Holly, they were all crying. Weird. Then I saw Sam, he was in the corner of the room rocking back and forth, he had in his hand a photo that was taking over the summer of me and him laughing. Things didn’t seem right, see, maybe you have figured it out, because I am back to the start. The entire above story is true, nothing was a lie, and that brings me back to here.
 
     Hi, my names Georgie. I died on September 4th, an hour after my so called best friend told me she hated me. See, after I heard Rosie say those horrible words, my heart stopped. There’s a hidden secret in this story, you probably have guessed it. Yes, I did like Rosie more than a friend. I wasn’t sure if I was truly a lesbian yet, because I liked Sam. I was trying to sort my head out. I wasn’t ready to tell the world yet. I wasn’t brave enough. Rosie really did turn out to be a plastic Barbie doll bitch though. After I left Rosie’s house that day on September 4th, I walked down to the stream near school where Sam and I shared our first kiss. I sat on the bank of the stream for a little while and thought about it all, life in general, what exactly was worth living for. I grabbed some paper out my bag and wrote a little letter, shoved in back in the bag and left it under a tree. I walked towards the stream. It was quite deep water when you got to the bit where it met the river. I walked right to the edge of the bank, it was slippery and I fell in. I couldn’t swim, and I knew that. A few hours later, I was found dead. Word got around fast, and by the time the first bell rang on September 5th, everyone knew I had killed myself. My bag was found, along with the letter, that I addressed to be read out in front of my year group at school and family. There were so many tears, so many “sorry”’s. I did walk into school that first day back, I just wasn’t alive. I saw everyone grieving, if I’m honest, I didn’t think anyone would care that much. I think my letter hit a few people quite hard, but I said what I felt at the time.
     It read like this…
 
“Dear Friends and Family,
By the time you read this letter, I shall be long gone. Gone to a place in which I can finally just be myself with no judgement. A place where I will be treated with respect and have friends, true friends. People that care about me, don’t twist things and stab me in the back.
Rosie, I thought you and I were friends but I guess I was always the “love sick lesbian puppy” right? See you said some hurtful things to me, things I couldn’t just walk away and be happy about. Things I couldn’t forget. I guess as harsh as it sounds, that’s what pushed me into what I did.
Sam, you were a great boyfriend. You were always so kind and patient with me. But I have a confession to make. I know you have all figured it out, I was probably in love with Rosie, I knew I at least liked her more than a friend. I am sorry if this has hurt you, I never intended it to be like this. I just wasn’t brave enough to tell the world.
Mum, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I’m not the daughter you thought you had. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone doing what I did.
Friends, you have always been there for me, whenever I have needed you. But you weren’t there this time, when I needed you the most.
 
Again, I say I’m sorry to all, things were never meant to be this way. Don’t blame Rosie though, I know a lot of you will think to do that. But deep down she’s still my best friend. I want this to mean something though, what should it matter what we are in life. It’s too late for me, but it’s not for others.
Goodbye world. It’s been fun knowing you.
Georgie
Xxx”
 
So yes, that was my letter. Wasn’t exactly ‘deep’, but it came from the heart. Although I think of Rosie as a back stabbing so called friend. There’s a part of me which will always love her.
     There was only one other thing I wrote on the letter, it was on the back of the paper. Made so much sense at the time, and will probably make a lot of sense to a lot of people who read it.
 
“…you think you know someone…"