Zombies Among Us

Zombies among us

 There is a theory that everything we imagine
has, is , or will be common knowledge. The conception of such fictional
creatures as vampires, dragons, and zombies will manifest themselves as
factual in their own given era. Vampires may well have existed in their
mid-evil days. Bigfoot could have been driven to extinction, or merely
hiding in underground caves and tunnel systems. Dragons would have made
excellent companions to the Knights that defended the walls of castles
in ancient kingdoms. Shape shifters ravaged the old west, and witches
cursed the colonial days. Ferries,trolls,and even the unicorn can not be
indisputably denied. The idea that zombies have always existed is not
farfetched given the fact that cannibals have been proven to be present
in small tribes throughout time. Witch doctors in Hatti use the
tetrodotoxin produced in the liver and ovaries of some species of puffer
fish to create a zombie. Other ingredients found in the Hatian Voodoo
powder are toxic secretions from the Bufo Marinus,and the Hyla tree
frog. Along with these mind altering toxins the Hatian Zombie powders
contain human remains. Most researchers believe the ingredient that
causes the Narcisse is the tetrodotoxin.Studies show the powder would be
as effective without the human remains. Why do you think the Hatian
witch doctors add the human remains?
 The first time that I seen a
zombie movie was in the 80s. Return of the living dead was cheesy, low
budget, and not at all scary. Zombies were mindless walkers who craved
eating brains. I must add , that I laughed through the whole movie. I
Even laughed when all the zombies were biting the naked punk rock girl.
The only time I stopped laughing was at the end. Return of the living
dead was the first movie I had ever seen that had no survivors. In the
end those who had survived brain eating walkers were blown to kingdom
come by the military. I had nightmares. My nightmares were dominated by
the image of everyone being murdered by their own government.
 Today
zombie movies are much different. Scary flesh eating biters stalking
armed groups of uninfected dominate the sci fi horror genre.Underground
corporate giants like the Umbrella corporation creating the T virus has
led many to believe that the zombie infection will be caused by a man
made virus. In 2012 there were   reported zombie attacks. A previously
unheard of drug labeled bathsalts hit the streets in 2012. This designer
drug reported to be coming from China disquised as a soothing bath
enhancer became national news when a naked man in Miami Florida ate
another naked mans face off.Rudy Eugine was reported to have been
smoking bathsalts before the attack. Rudy then decided that the face of 
a homeless man he encountered would taste real good,so he chewed it
off. Ronald Edward Poppo lost the sight in one eye and has to have total
facial reconstructive surgery. The two naked men were discovered by a
guy on an early morning bike ride. The bicyclist screamed at Rudy to get
off of his naked friend. When the zombiefied Rudy didn't listen the
bicyclist called the police. Police claim Rudy charged them with bloody
skin hanging from his mouth, and they had to shoot him 22 times. Was
Rudy a zombie?
 In the days that followed the attack bathsalts became
known as the zombie drug. There was a mother tazered to death after she
smoked bathsalts, got naked(getting naked is common in users), chased
her kid, and killed the family dog by snapping it's neck.  Another young
man was arrested standing outside a restaurant naked,growling at people
as they tried to enter.Police dash cam videos began to surface on You
tube showing apprehended citizens growling and trying to bite the police
officers. Then there was a crackdown,and the zombie drug disappeared
from the news.Many believe this was the first government test of the
zombie drug.In recent days a report surfaced that claims a vile of a
deadly virus has disappeared from a research lab in Texas.The virus it
contained is spread by Venezualian rats, and has a 33% mortality
rate.The Guanarito virus causes hemorrhagic fever, an illness named for
bleeding under the skin, in internal organs, or from body orifices like
the mouth, eyes, or ears.Could this be the zombie drug we all fear?
 I
have been traveling with the carnival for sixteen years. In the past
ten years I have watched the psychology of America change. I worked at a
carnival for Fourth of July that was themed after Zombieland. There was
a zombie ambassador who crawled around the lot in a straight jacket
eating anything anyone threw on the ground. He bent over and put his
lips in the dirt and ate a piece of hotdog some kid dropped and everyone
gasped in disgust. A crowd moved along with the bloody oddity. His hair
was so bleached it was white, and his skin so pale he blended in with
the straight jacket. He was covered in bloody handprints. There was a
booth set up to paint the fair goers as zombies. Before long there were
zombies everywhere. At first the fairgoers were disgusted by the creepy
zombie eating garbage off the ground. Now they were  following him like
minions. They were limping along , eating cottencandy, and dragging one
foot behind them. White faced zombies stood in line for the ferris wheel
with their heads cocked sideways in a makeup induced daze. The
gravatron stopped and dizzy zombies stumbled out. One fell to the ground
and started puking while his flesh eating friends pointed and laughed.
The people of Riverside, New York fell into character. They forgot their
insecurities, and the entire midway became one big zombie movie.
Children dressed like zombies were chasing their parents. I saw a
grandpa dressed like a zombie holding hands with his granddaughter. She
was around five, and was a zombie princess in a ruffled pink dress that
now had dripps of fake blood on the front. I believe Grandpa walked with
a ligitimate limp, but the princess mimiced it exactly. There was a
zombie clown that took one of my balloons and sucked it through his nose
then pulled it out of his mouth. Just before dark the zombies headed to
the street for a zombie march. If you did not get to go to one of the
hundreds of zombie  marches that took place in 2012 then you missed a
surreal experience.The actual sight of over 100 zombies crawling down
the street in unison is sobering. The painted fairgoers formed a wall of
the undead. As I watched the wall aproach I began to realize that this
zombie movement is unstoppable. The zombie apacolypse is upon us. Then
the fireworks burst into the sky as the zombies flooded the midway.
Zombies littered the side walk with their heads tilted towards the sky
watching the pretty explosions. They all chanted "OOH and Ahh".I had
seen this in a zombie movie before.
 When the fair ended I took a walk over the bridge that crossed the river. Written on the wall was a poem.
 Hi there, my names crazy
 I just smoked bath salts
 and you look tasty!
 I
paused there and read the poem a couple of times. It was one of the
freshest writings on the wall. I found myself thinking about the person
who wrote this poem. Did they come to the bridge just to write it? Did
they realize it would have such an effect on someone? Was there really a
person under the bridge thinking about eating another?  Was it one of
the zombies from the carnival?  Maybe someone dressing like a zombie,
and smoking bathsalts at the same time?
 You might not believe we are
on the brink of a zombie apocalypse,but the government seems to be
preparing for one. Last year the CDC released a zombie preparedness
report. Michigan University added a class on surviving a zombie
apocalypse, and the top selling video game for Christmas was Black ops,
where you fight zombies.
 A recent scientific finding claims that
getting blood transfusions from the young makes you smarter. We all know
everything must evolve. The evolution of the zombie is still in the
early stages. There is no telling where this zombie revolution might
take us. Maybe the zombies will be the smarter in the end.
 My ten
year old son has recently become intrigued with the FVZA. He spent hours
telling me stories about zombie and vampire reports from around the
world. He believes that this organization exists, and if he works really
hard at being a zombie hunter he will be recruited when he finishes
college, of course. He has been working on his zombie detection skills.
Sometimes he points out zombies in the super market, or at the gas
station. Most of the people he detects appear drugged or lethargic. I am
beginning to believe him.

 I went to the FVZA website to find out
more, and they seem to be an official organization that officially
doesn't exists. The site supplies recorded facts that can't be proven.
The Federal Vampire and Zombie Agency was set up in the late 1800s. In
1933 President  Roosevelt appointed Hilton Dickerson to FVZA director.
Dickerson was so determined to rid the country of zombies and vampires
that civilian casualties became an issue. Dickerson started the FVZA
Academy in 1933. He helped form a government agency called the Vampire
Emergency Administration one year later. Dickerson died in 1950. He was
known to people as the best FVZA director in history. You can go on the
FVZA administration sight and read all about his work.
 You still may
not believe in a zombie apocalypse after reading my story, but you have
to admit, If you were looking at this planet from the outside it might
appear that we are in the midst of a full on zombie invasion.