A Wish for Something Normal

I wish I could feel for a minute the thoughts in my head to normalize and to distribute themselves accordingly to exact revenge on the thoughts and delusions that prevent me from writing sometimes.  I am exacting my revenge as we speak and through this mental illness of mine, I cannot find the vision I need to write or paint as the medication I take, takes hold of me in a way that crushes me spiritually and emotionally.  I have a dream and a vision to be the best poet and artist that I can be and to be inspirational in my thoughts and in my dreams to realize my full potential without the necessary constraints of constant medication that endangers my dreams by stealing my emotions and ideas of self gratification from me in such a brutal manner.  In this dream, I find my vision skewed as I know that it will be a lifelong event and in the event that the condition worsens, I will likely seek shelter under the umbrella of writing about nonsense as it is the only way for me to express the ideas that I have floating around in my head at any given moment.

So in my dream, may it be realized that all things come to light under the pretext that all things come to dreams and to find the light in all that comes to me under the pretense that all fields of vision change as the scope is determined by the light of my magnification of the illusion that I am well enough to articulate myself to state my dream wish to the masses under the concept of the illusion of the self under the articulate vision of myself in the concept of the time of vision that is myself and through the concept of time and space may it be mine forever.  See.

It is the vision of the concept of the mind that alters fear and in that fear, I am filtered to imagine a time when all things come to those who wait in patience and in servitude of Allah and in his time, may all things be served through his vision for me.  I am forever in His wonderful service and in it's degrees, I have known no love like the love of my life in the real disguise of someone on this site who supports me fully and it's in her that I find the life of wonder that disguises me to say that I love her for being so gracious to me and to find an alternate method to poetry to write because the medicine has taken away my creative expression and emotional response to the words that I need.  I hope my artwork isn't the same and the needs and the necessity are what is needed to make my dreams come true for the sense of being that I am.  My dream is to be normal once again and to feel something so that I can express myself like I know I can and to take that back is to forget who I am, a sick man who dreams of words that rhyme and divide's himself through a lack of mediums that forget altogether who he is through the marvelous technologies of the world of writing and the forgotten realm of existence as it pertains to the Angelic qualities of all poets and writers and the exalted status of the Angelic beings who read these ramblings with quality and with heart. 

Thank You.