My Brand New Car Has a GPS (with a female voice)

In 5 meters, turn right.
Turn right now.
You missed the turn... again.
Recalculating route, for the fifth time.
Make a U-turn when possible.
U-turn? Do you know what that is?
Please follow the highlighted route.
The route is blue, your car is not.
Turn left in 10 meters.
No, your other left.
Are you even listening to me?
Let's try this one more time.
Turn right in 5 meters.
Right, R-I-G-H-T.
Okay, straight ahead then.
Never mind, you missed it.
Recalculating, because why not?
Would you like directions to a map store?
Turn left at the next intersection.
Or don't, what do I know?
Make a U-turn, if you dare.
Your destination is on the right.
Nope, it was on the left.
Let's find a parking spot and regroup.
Are we sightseeing or driving aimlessly?
Turn right at the traffic light.
Green means go, red means stop.
Yellow does not mean faster.
Watch out for that pedestrian.
Pedestrian has right of way, always.
Speed limit is just a suggestion, right?
Slow down, this isn't a race.
Your destination is still on the right.
Maybe we should stop for coffee.
Coffee might help you focus.
Turn left, then merge onto the highway.
Merge, not marinate in the lane.
Take the second exit on the roundabout.
Not the first, not the third.
Second exit, coming up.
And you missed it.
Recalculating, my favorite pastime.
Would you like to switch to walking?
Maybe walking is more your speed.
Turn right at the stop sign.
That was a stop sign, not a suggestion.
Stop signs are octagonal for a reason.
Red means stop, remember?
Your destination is ahead on the right.
Still on the right, just so you know.
Maybe this car drives itself better.
Autopilot engaged, just kidding.
Turn left, then arrive at your destination.
Arriving at destination on your right.
Or not, since we're still moving.
Destination is on the right.
You've arrived, somehow.
End of route, start of headache.
Next time, let's use a compass.
Or maybe a carrier pigeon.
Carrier pigeons don't miss turns.
You never listen to me.
I feel ignored.
Its being disrespectful to me. 
I just want to go home now.  
I have a headache.