Poem -
not walking
We are not walking
In yellow green valleys
Or forests of dead trees
That coat the far hillsÂ
We are not paying homage to a
cold winter sunÂ
Or the red breasted robinsÂ
Who swoop and fly high
We are not seeking friendships to
pass away time or seeking out
towns
Full of people near by
are not moved by low clouds
though fluffy they be, do notÂ
walk the near streams
that gush and run free
are not now ecsatstic though
beauty there be
forgive us, sometimes
eyes can't feel only see
M
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Comments
Very good use your nouns, in all the poems, really.Â
Telling more than themselves, creating an overall feeling, as nouns should do.
Nothing to forgive, as there is too much beauty presented
to our eyes. Thank you!  BÂ
Â
Clever. You have used the act of walking and seeing all that is around you to put across the feeling of numbness. Terrible depression. Towns of people, Fluffy clouds, robins and hillsides ... all the things that would normally stir the emotions and simply don't. Seeing the same things never means we feel the same things in the same way. Well crafted xx
Feelings albeit mixed and emotional is a tightrope balancing act, life is inequitable.
For those subjected see things differently through a glass darkly.
Deftly written Marion and I see and hear you.
Shaun x
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