One day you’ll leave me

It started in the rain, when the winter came tugging 
it was a cold season and my shoulders knew that.
Whispers of sweet nothings have not patched up my wound, though it may satiate you. 
Perhaps I am a Christmas dinner to you, but what am I to you?

Two turtle doves ring bells with their breeze as they fly by the church. Snow won’t start falling in this town but we felt Ice between us.  
I told myself it was okay when you worked through the winter 
I told myself it was okay when you ate with another 
it’s our busy schedules and the ice keeps growing 
it was okay I told myself 
I knew it wasn’t going to last forever 
but perhaps a summer love does not wish to hibernate in the winter perhaps it wants a fire to ignite 

the only fire you see is in me 
a Christmas pudding
flamed and hot 
I’m delicious to you 
am I anything else 

it is okay that you will not stay
i know this will not last 
it breaks my heart 
and all my being 
but everyone needs a meal to survive 
I just can’t cook that for you anymore 
and you already have tried someone else’s 
I’m afraid I am not good enough 
but my carollers have told me 
my worth is not defined by you.

they sing to me how the winter grows colder, how it will not snow any more 
and the weeks bleed into months 
and the months will bleed into years 
and all of our memories will be held in my tears 

I love you winter, treat me well in the spring