Again

I don't know where to go with thisĀ
I don't know how to be
It's typical of me to bury things
To hold on and not let them free
I stirred up so many memories
Of a life that I haven't grieved
I allowed myself to falterĀ
And it's shaken what I believed
I can see the familiar patternsĀ
In the new life I chose to create
Leaving me frozen in time
Procrastinating, full of debateĀ
I chose something so similarĀ
It's almost laughable to me
In turmoil now I try to deny
This isn't how it's supposed to be
I'm having to rearrange my heart
To hold space for a deep pain
Fighting to catch my breath
I don't want to do this all again
Ā
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Comments
I think what I like most about your poem is that the reader knows that you are referring to the same mistakes being made, maybe not ad infinitum, but lessons are not learned. And doesn't that make the writer just human.Ā
As to the subject of those mistakes well that is not stated directly by the writer which I like but there is one word that guides the reader, that word being heart. I also like the way you present it.Ā