Blue lips

Cold as the winter,
Sad as the rain,
Losing you, was at first a blessing...a relief,
Now, like any day and every day since, a day filled with so much pain.

An eternal rest for you,
Brought many sleepless nights for me,
Remembering you, for who you were... all it's worth,
But also a reminder of all the moments I won't be sharing with you anymore, hit my heart where it truly hurt.

So much that to me time simply stopped ticking,
A mind once filled with dreams, is now a walking bomb filled with evil thoughts,
My view on the world shifted and it's people... a disgrace to all of humanity,
Trying to recall my emotions always brings up the worst in me, a feeling so sickening.

Your death threw me off balance, took away all the joy that I still had,
Life is actually worse than death, it's the hell we all talk to each other about,
But here I'm living with the beautiful, the ugly and the bad,
Pretending and avoiding the fact that my lips are just as blue as yours were
and that no matter what I'll do, I will never get you back.