Whole

At night I see their faces
Screaming and yelling, while I'm touching them in all kind of places
At night I'm not a man anymore
Dancing proudly on my tippy toes, while acting like a fancy whore

Searching for my identity of either being a beautiful woman or a strong-ass man!

A wish to be desired
Loved by them who I call friends of my own, who I myself also admired
A wish to be free from my chains
Fighting my way through life against all the odds of me becoming something for a change

Finding my own luck by walking many roads even when I get lost or stuck, I just swap the approach!

Honoring my mother who passed away
Who raised me fiercely and pushed me into the path of god the almighty... to sin means I'm unworthy
Unworthy of my dear mother's love
Which I craved for so much that it looked like she didn't move, but remained here, well and alive

Losing your mother can turn you into someone you're not, no matter how many times you knock...nobody is there!

They said I had a disease that changes me from time to time
I never understood this very well, I only saw it as them teasing me, so they themselves would feel fine
They said I was a monster who butchered and fucked the living or the death
People who didn't knew my youth, nor that I've even met... called me that 

I'm not a monster... I just took things too far until it became an uncontrollable obsession of mine!

The scent of woman that were just walking by... the odor of their perfume that touched their soft skin
Made me want to borrow and eventually live inside their skin for a moment, to be them
The breasts of woman that had the purpose of raising children... something I could never have
An interest of what it would be to have those things hanging on me
The female organ of a woman that looked so funny the first time I looked at it closely
Coming in all sizes, shapes or forms... far beyond the reality of what I could've ever dreamed

Which eventually lighted a spark within me of you know what... that's what I truly want to be!