Time’s aflame (a letter to my vanished twin (syndrome))

Time’s aflame,
ashes whirling, yearning to rest
upon the earth that is still too hot
to receive them.
Never in all my winters have I been
alone inside (and I never knew
you had left your mark in me).
World is brighter, path into colours
I never felt, whispering
how grateful you are that I carried you
for all those years (and it hurts to be
alone).
A soft wind caresses skin that always was
wired wrongly for you took your share
unwittingly, never meaning to -
how could you as there never was
an incarnation in the flesh?
Time’s aflame, feeding me with heat,
a summer I have not known before,
my body my own life,
my own path to find words for…
Time’s flames dwindle to a candle’s flame,
light in this night, weaving silence and ease,
so I may sleep to see another day,
on my own.
We are both at peace,no longer fraught
with worry for the other, separate,
go, my twin, into your own realm,
and yet, please, stay close, so we live each in our own
plain.
Tears – I have nomore need for them now
we can see each other, yet
I shed them feeling your hand on my shoulder
I dare not, no, I dare to breathe in this moment,
time keeps us together, safe, close, yet
I still wish you could have lived.
Time is still burning in this new life
as I blow out the candle I lit for you.
I will walk my path alone,
holding my wife’s hand,
gratefully immediate, no longer
filtered, shared -
she deserves a free heart…
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Comments
Going straight to profile now
Hanx
I see I've already visited.
Sorry I forgot you
Lol
Can't have made much of an impression, then 🤣🤣🤣
I figure not posting much. I should have been clear
Yes, I am not a very prolific poet, too much energy lost to a (very gratifying) job. I was merely poking fun. Gkad there are people who like my weird spiritual/mystical stuff about personal experiences. Again, hanx for reading and leaving comments
I'm all about that stuff.
One of my fave lyrics
I promised I would drown myself in mystic heated wine
The doors
Will check out thst song, mystic wine is about all the alcohol I drink (slip into back moods all too easily and I don't want to go "back to black" ("quotese is such a fun language") lol
The song is called
Yes the river knows
Hanx, I just checked - you are mid afternoon, whereas I just woke up (near to Eindhoven in The Netherlands)
Probably not Doors time then
Have a coffee
Lol
Nae, that be s different cup of tea (the wife and me quote movies and songs etc toeach other for fun responses and call that quotese (both trained as linguists at Ansterdam University for the English language)
What can I say... beautiful lines that scream release, a peace with what's gone.
Beautiful John x
It feels so weird to be free of all filters after 65 years, but I am glad that it comes across, thanks for getting the point🙏
Yes, she deserves a free heart. May you keep the peace you found.
Warm wishes,
Bernadete
Thank you, it is her reward for her hard work on me and herself (she also came out of an almost 60 year trauma a few weeks before me). We are finally seeing the true us, now, weird after 38 years... Even our cat responds well to all this, she's in our lap all the time she can where in the 13 years before she kept much to herself🐱.