27/2/17

There it is, that spark again, that little flutter that makes everything else seem pointless, worthless. 
your purpose, an undivided allure towards me. 
mine?
you.
 
I’m overly affectionate love being touched, petted
cooed at and rubbed, even when I was a cub.
without you, each second feels as if it were a dud. 
no,no,no,no,YES!
A touch, a glance,
a burst of you into me.
The feeling of falling but never actually touching ground. 
Excitement, fear, and a shear rush that flows through my body, brings rose to my cheeks and frown lines to their knees.
begs "please, please, please is there something more to eat?" 
 
Our words flow, our body hungry, we take from each other as if we are starving. 
Somehow, I get through my day constantly waiting to hear your praise,
never knowing how I could go back 
well, why would I want to when you I got you babe?
 
Something doesn’t feel right. You talk too much. Your hands are always sweaty and beard is rough.
Did you always say like after every second word?
Am I making this up? I’m caught up trying to serve.
My mind is racing, was this you the whole time?
I feel like I’ve just come out of a bender in hive
 
Your words are irrelevant,
your annoying and boring please could you just go back to snoring.
you’re constantly touching me, could you LIKE not please?
I’m trying to be kind but my conscious is worried, did I know this wasn’t working every morning?
 
Trying to find brief pleasure to avoid the real end,
knowing I’m fucked and not while I’m bent. 
I swear to god I’m trying, here have more of me? 
I’m still unhappy "babe can I get some coffee?"
 
I'm making you breakfast your soulful eyes burn me, 
Knowing that something is coming bugs me, 
Two eggs a side of toast and some head
I can see your stomach filling up with dread.
 
I shut the door behind you,
I'm exhausted, drained.
I'm putting up my brace face to ignore my shame. 
Doesn't matter who you are John, Joe or Ginger
My feelings end up the same 
Bored, Annoyed, Bitter.