47 weeks

It's been a long hard road that's been bestowed upon me
I've been clean and sober for 47 weeks and I can't help but feel my future still seems bleak. 
Although it's a dry hot day, it's raining in my head with no where to go and nothing said. 
I'm holding on by a thread as I cry and run back to my bed. 
I'm falling fast again looking back at the reckage of my past will I ever learn will I ever mend. 
Two months till my year of completed sobriety and I'm still filled with a life time of anxiety. 
Even though I tried my feeling never seemed to subside,  at times even having thoughts of suicide. 
I flipped the script of being a convict, lost my home and my hope even got jumped and broke four bones. 
Will I ever recover move on and rediscover new hope find my way and find a new way to Cope with my addiction and let go of the dope. 
I know I'm complex but I'm keeping my head up to continue on my journey of success.