A couple of skinflints

They are as tight as a ducks arse
pardoning my french
One could not get any tighter 
using an adjustable wrench
Mr & Mrs. Meaness 
Haha they are well named
Coz a couple of skinflints is what friends and family proclaimed
I wouldn’t care but the two of them are not short of a bob
and Muriel Meaness walks about acting a total snob
But isn’t that just typical
giving people a false impression
Her hoity-toity talking is a hilarious self-expression
With muckle marbles in her mouth
High and mighty la-di-da
with her nose pointed in the air
wearing a posh panama

Edward Meaness is well-known for being as greedy as his wife
His daughter laughs at him scraping  porridge out of a pan with a pallette knife
Misely and miserable 
Pretentious and pompous
On a high horse haughty taughty
Puffed up and presumptous
Mr & Mrs Meaness live in a one bedroom flat
Neighbours knew about them a few years ago when they stopped feeding their cat
Apparently they used to give it scraps but even that became too much
So the poor pet died of starvation yet they said  it vanished such and such