A Letter for a Friend

Dear Friend,
 Or should I say ex-friend?
 Because I guess that's what we've become.
 I'm always on 'read', but nothing's ever said,
 By now you could say that I'm numb.
"Not ex-friends," you say?
 Just face it, we're not friends
 But think about it, we're not enemies . . .
I hope . . .
 Maybe
 The girls who pass by without even a 'hi'
 Are just strangers, sharing memories.
 Memories of
 Secrets and
 Whispers and
 Laughter
 Just look at the two of us after
 We're drifting apart and it's breaking my heart
 Maybe I'm wiser but I'm sadder . . .
 Do you even think I matter?

 You know, I always thought that 'smile through the tears' was so cliche,
 Except now it's just life

 But I'm fine

 Don't worry

 It's okay

 You'll never have to know what I think.
 I'm never gonna show what I think,
 Because we're not close enough to know each other anymore;
 So my mouth says, "I'm fine,"
 My fingers text, "It's okay,"
 My heart cries, "I'm broken," and
 You
 Don't
 Hear.
 Maybe you just don't care.
 Well. I'm not going to be the one to break the silence,
Why?
 Because it hurts.
 It hurts to see your best friend walk away with her best friend, who
 Apparently
 Suddenly
 Isn't you,
 To think of all the things you've done together, 
 The things you'll never do;
And it started to click,
the puzzle pieces mounted But I didn't want to put them together,
 Because I used to think friends always stayed

 And you left.

 But honestly, now, my only surprise,
 Is the fact that I once believed these lies
 Best Friends Forever
 I'm right here for you 
 Some of them didn't turn out to be true.

And you can't stop it,
 that's the saddest part of all,
 Like the rain from the sky,
 Like birds will always fly,
 Like you can't stop the tears
 That fall.

 That's the part that trips me up,
Looking back on the times I laughed,
 Knowing things would never change,
 And realizing how much things have changed . . .

Thinking
Of how it all went wrong,
 Of why the sun shines on,
Of the stranger that I once knew.
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