a letter to my best friend

Hey so today I’m sitting at the same church we had your funeral in...
Felt like i needed god so here i am again
Last night i stayed up with thoughts racing through my head
What could of been what happend and what if i did
Should i’s could i’s and would u really listen
I know your in a better place but   my hearts been missing
Came up with a plan for every Christmas Day leave a gift at your grave and one for your mother to save 
Because i know you wouldn’t miss a single holiday .... dam. I’m really missing you but why do i feel like this today
I can’t sleep shanti your all i dream about
That night and what happens the last hug you gave out
And it was me that night the last person you said goodbye to you told me you loved me and i  said i love you too
That was true
Always been 
You’ll always be my best friend 
I’ll never forget you shanti 
In my mind souls and memory til this world ends