A Million Pieces

This loneliness is overwhelming, much worse than a physical or mental abuse of which at least something I would be feeling. I'm forced to fold every hand because of the terrible cards that life keeps on dealing. Nightmares inundate my cerebrum, I've forgotten what it's like to be pleasantly dreaming. Shrouded in a world of darkness, it's hard to trust in that phrase "seeing is believing". I put up a front like nothing's wrong but I'm the only one that I'm deceiving. A silent chaos ensues in my mind like an eternal muted screaming. There is no calm in the eye of my storm, off the charts devastation is surely nearing. I've been isolated not by choice, I can't understand what's going on or even what's the meaning. Cursed to walk the earth alone, a lone wanderer, of that I'm pretty sure I can write a thesis. Much like Dr. Jekyll transforming, my inner Hyde's solitude and rage increases. I'm turning Rorschach inkblot tests into artistic masterpieces. Of course I have to solitarily wait it out as my unexplainable savage episode decreases. I'm in an invisible bubble nobody comes near, in a 3' circumference because that's what my reach is. You make me feel like the only way you'd stand by my side is if I used a Jedi mind trick or some sort of telekinesis. You make me feel like no one would help pick me up if I shattered into a million pieces. Sometimes all it takes is a simple I love you to mend the broken shards of life like a magical life saving adhesive…
Jonathan Edward, 3/28/2020