A part of my psychosis

getting older, past 33 years already.
the twenties flew away, didn't realize it,
was cuckoo in many ways.
with my soul under my arms
I walked down the pavements,
failed at every step.

dreams shattered in a broken mirror,
didn't see my own reflection.
couldn't even think about it,
my thoughts drowned
before reaching the shore of my mind.

hearing voices, forgot that I was walking alone.
talking to them, feeling them
the city is a cold place when being alone in thoughts.
paintings, like Van Gogh's, in real life.
not wearing the bright colours though.
shivering shadows of my own reflection
one, two, maybe even three
under the rain drops in pools of mud.

sitting on a bench next to a canal. hiding away,
for the light of day. avoiding the crowds on the street.
woven stories of irrational thoughts turn out to be real.
I'm time traveling through dimensions of the surreal.
people I'd met, books I'd read, Movies I'd seen.
An open window, not to be closed again.
I'm in space, leaving the galaxy far behind me
though my feet are here on the ground and can't be seen
by my own eyes. tiny creatures are walking out of my body,
saying goodbye for ever more.

I'm in the past, many, many, years ago. Even before I was born.
Hunted down by the unknown. Friends protected me, they travelled
with me, in spirit. A Jedi here, an alien there. They cut out my eyes, so I couldn't see, the inner beauty of life. Castles built out of sand appeared throughout the land. my space ship, buried beneath it all. at the beginning of time.

I'm in the future. war of the worlds, fighting over me. I found my space ship in the past and turned back to where I came from. Seeing spirits taking over the good from the bad. moving from body to body. Dinosaurs in the garden. Moving back and forth. Our predecessors where from the Dark Chrystal. I drove around in a friends car, not knowing my future

I was being hospitalized..