A small out take from my new book, only available on amazon/kindle/kindle audio

Please everyone and anyone that has been touched by cancer or any other illness, terminal or not, disabled and is even helping people with depression. My one goal is too save as many lives as possible through medical/scientific research section of my book and to fund raise as much money for my chosen charities as possible. At the moment Amazon are taking 50% until I get 8 more sales with reviews, as then I get off of Amazon to free up their 50% so 100% can go to charity and my book will then be released worldwide in bookstores and libraries! I just need these last 8 reviews... please help by buying and reviewing on axon fore please and the sake of humanity. At the moment, 25% is going to my local hospice after being my palliative care provider for last 16 years! 25% to a little known, adults living with cancer, dream giving charity called the honeyrose foundation. Whom also got my book published as my dream.....

So here is just a snippet of poetry from my book....
Wyrd bîd ful aræd, Feohtere Drohdap or fate is inexorable, Fighter Mode....

18/11/2020
Fate is inexorable 

Fate can be amazing.
Fate can be horrible
Wyrd bîd ful aræd!
Fate is inexorable!

To be told at 19,
I have 2 to 3 weeks left to live,
To be 35 now,
With 3 healthy kids.
Wyrd bîd ful aræd. 

Fate takes us down different paths,
Ups and downs,
Pain and sorrow.
Sadness and laughs.
Fate is inexorable,
So, what will be will be.
Wyrd bîd ful aræd. 

I’ve travelled the world.
I’ve been lucky enough to make amazing memories.
But what of the people,
Who can't afford to,
Who’ve Never even seen,
 any of the planet’s other countries.
Wyrd bîd ful aræd. 

I’ve had a to have a continued,
Lifetime span. 
From 6 weeks down to 2 to 3.
Yet 16 years later,
I guess fate for me had a different plan.
As I’m still alive and standing as a man.
Wyrd bîd ful aræd. 

To be heartbroken,
Over and over and over again.
4 years I lived that pain.
To give up on trying to find a near on perfect woman.
Then just the other week my fate,
In a day,
Was changed.
I’ve met my soulmate,
So, no more searching for James.
Wyrd bîd ful aræd. 

Through illness abroad,
I was forced to not smoke weed,
For 15 days.
15 days for 3 new lung tumours to form.
For me to get home,
Start toking,
And change my cancers roam.
I'm now fighting fit and by my cancer not owned.
Wyrd bîd ful aræd.
Life throws the good with the bad.
Whether little or big,
It's still experiences you’ve had.
Some decisions we make in life are right.
Some are wrong.
It’s how we deal with them,
That determines the fate we have.
Wyrd bîd ful aræd.

I have my 1st book coming out soon,
About my life,
In poetic terms.
Sods law,
for me,
 would be,
If before holding my book in hand,
I die,
Not from my 3 cancers,
But coronavirus germs.
Wyrd bîd ful aræd.
Fate is inexorable in so many ways.
Each person’s is different,
But each ending,
Really,
Is inevitably the same!

18/11/2020
Not so Far away angel

You're like a not so far away angel,
Or a distant moon or star.
I'd traverse the universe to find you.
No distance would ever be too far.
No matter how deep into space you get,
Distance doesn't matter!
I just hate being without you.
Makes me feel like I'm in titters.
Like I’m in tatters.
At least I know I'll get to see you again.
If I couldn't,
It would drive me pure insane!
I can't bear the thought of you not running around my brain.
XxxxxxxxxxxxX

18/11/2020
From the darkness and into the light

Why do I now feel like I'm walking through the midst,
Of a deep and menacing looking forest.
From here,
There's nowhere to go. 
Well for now,
Just whilst I'm lost.
I predict that about 12pm tomorrow,
I'll be bursting through the other side,
Lost no more.
Suddenly I'm in the clearing,
With sudden daylight,
Keeping me warm. 
That warmth only comes,
When the North bound wind picks me up in a swarm.
Then the cold and icy southern bound wind,
Blows me in a storm.
Away,
For a night or maybe a day.
Back into that seemingly never ending,
Forest of despair.
When I'm in the cold zone,
It brings with it,
My Missing you flares.
Feeling like My link is temporarily broken.
Like a constant nightmare!
When I'm in the warm zone,
With you,
Other than the obvious,
I simply have no cares.
No worries.
No doubts about the love that we mutually share.
So, as I follow the meadow with my eyes closed shut,
I found something so incredibly beautiful and oh so rare.
As when I opened my eyes,
You were stood there!
I hate but love missing you babe,
And I wrote this poem just for you,
 to show you just how much,
I really do care...
XxxxxxxxxxxxX

16/11/2020
My bodies wains

When you are not around,
My heart trembles like it's in fear.
My ears whimper,
When you,
They cannot hear.
My soul sobs when it can’t sense you near.
My mind wails when it cannot process you in front of me,
clear.
And my eyes cry when they cannot see you.
Shedding more than just 1 tear.
I miss you my love,
And wish you were here!
XxxxxxxxxxxxX 

.Here we go again.
Hate going through all of this cancer limbo and pain
Here we go again,
It's the same cancer this time in my lungs,
Growing abnormally so.
As I’ve over a 100 others,
And not one of them have grown.
15 days being ill in Egypt.
15 days of no weed,
15 days for my cancers rebirth to try and spread to my brain.
I’m too strong though,
I’ll defeat anything,
No matter the strength of the forces against me,
Causing others grief,
Causing me pain.
I’ve been fighting for 20 years already,
I'm a cancer veteran.
For 20 years,
 we’ve been battling,
Hopefully not 20 years in vein.
But then I remember,
this is all part of my joker cards game.
I'm here on this earth,
To deliver my own message.
To give you a tale of will power,
That's led me on this path.
To tell you how it’s me,
Not my cancer,
That’ll be having the last and final laugh.
I’m determined to beat it once more.
Cleansing it from me,
Washing it down the plug hole in the bath.
I’ve still plenty of living left,
My cancer will never break me,
Or leave me split in half.
Bring on what you like,
As he who first brings the laughs,
With me?
Will always,
 Laugh last. 

23/09/2020
Lillian 

I met this lady,
 in hospital the other day,
She had me creased up,
In the nicest of ways.
Was something about her,
Her smile, I think?
 that made me happy.
The way she praised me,
Even though only just met.
She’s 1 in a billion,
Not quite 92 yet.
I’ve not heard her story,
But she seems like,
A world war 2 Wren.
Fighting for her life in our own lands,
From up Lancashire,
Home of our warplanes,
bomber friends...
Each time I passed,
this amazing lady Lillian,
I wanted her knowledge,
On how to Everlast,
And how to live for this long.
She must be doing something right,
As her soul is like a vibrant colour,
 so colourful and vast.
Her soul beams out light,
 that is so strong and oh so bright.
What I would do,
 to have an ounce of her heart,
So full of might.
Her mind is sharp,
And her wit is quick.
She’s going home well,
No longer sick.
I’m not religious,
But if there is God,
 of sorts out there,
Please protect Lillian,
As she would others,
With immense,
Love and care.
If she were 50 years younger,
I’ll have definitely been drawn to her.
Lillian is now,
Eternally in my memory,
Now and forever.
Please make sure you look after this oyster Pearl,
She’s 1 in a billion,
Out of 7.6 in the world.

My cancers' got stage fright  

I'll always be strong,
As I’ve got to be,
 for others around me. 
I’ve a million tears hidden behind 1 single smile.
I have to be smiling, 
for my kids and family,
All the while,
 as don’t want them to succumb to my plight. 
So I'd rather have them see me smile,
 like I'm a free bird in flight. 
As if I'm not in pain,
 so instead of darkness,
 I fill the room with my smiles light.
Even in the darkness you can see it,
As my teeth are ultra-white.
Like my soul is eternally bright.
Never giving up,
Never will I lose my fight,
Never using up,
All my stacks of pure will power and might.
I'll never be beaten,
My cancers' got stage fright  
I'll never be consumed,
It's bark,
Is just that.
Is nothing,
Compared to my bite. 
Like wings of a bird,
Take off,
Take flight,
As I really don't need you,
Consuming my life.
So,
 sit right,
Hold on tight,
I'm hurling you space bound.
Past the last known satellite.
Then come blazing back through our hemisphere,
Just so naturally,
 you'll be set alight.
And just like that,
Poof,
No more Cancer,
Causing me strife!
At least that way,
There's no need,
 for the surgeon's,
 scalpel or knife!

Our turns with fate...
 
We are still smiling.
To quote my favourite saying,
which I have tattooed on my back,
'Wyrd bîd ful aræd',
'fate is inexorable',
but in our mother tongue,
from before the Roman's ever invaded these lands.
Pushing the last true remaining British people,
onto the isle of mona, off the welsh/Gaelic north coast.
I'm not a religious man in a sense,
as I believe a lot of their beliefs,
just not the farfetched ones.
I believe we all have the same fate,
To start,
as we are all conceived. Whether we make it out of the womb or not.
As We all have the same fate in the end,
As no one is immortal.
It's what happens in between that matters,
and what paths we take, decide our final fate.
Only thing is though,
No one truly knows,
their own death dates.
Yet we live all our lives, remembering our birthday.
It's others still living after us, our loved ones and friends, that remember ours,
until their very end.