A tale for falling asleep

Do you believe in fairy-tales?
          I wish I could.

I wish I could get away.

Just pause time and linger,

Hang in the moment, be forever.

Why time would not falter?

Why insist to go on?

Like a bull, charging forward without care,

Keeping his eyes shut,
just a dusty trail.

Smelling pastel-paint colors,

blurry and heavy, some shapes and blotches,

What am I doing here? 
   I keep wondering.

                                  : I wish this dream ended.

                                                               Be with me just for a smile,
give it your best to make me laugh,

                                                                    caress me negligent, wandering,

                                                                         mind shut, eyes wide, hammering.

P.S.: I wonder whether I am alive at all.