A Tale of Love's Pain

Most would say it's unavoidable, with most i've come to agree.
I can fall deep like the ocean,
Yet i cant make her see.

She tells me how her day was, and I couldn't be more intrigued.
The thoughts that flood my mind grab my focus,
and scream.

When we talk it's like our words are the same,
I can understand her feelings, her wants and her doubts.
I can feel her pain, but I dare not go to far.

I'm not able to explain with words the whole of what I feel,
but my best friend is hurting and it pains me.
It eats at every ounce of who I am or ever could be every second of every day, and I can't let her see.

The fear sets in first, followed by a short and usually overlooked burst of confidence,
Then the fear pushes that right back out.
Why does it have to be like this?
What if I didn't have to worry that if I told her how I feel i'd lose her completely, which brings in the doubt.

Like a tornado with a drawn path, it destroys all the good, happy thoughts and hopes I have.
In my mind, in my heart and all through my soul I know I want to take care of her always, but I cant seem to move my mouth.

When do I get my chance?
Why do I set my priority to make others happy when I dont take care of myself first, or at all for that matter.
I more happy then i've ever been.
I get to see her almost everyday when she comes home and I get to cook and clean for her...make her happy and see her angelic smile as she walks through the door.

How can I risk losing the one person that makes me happy, by asking more of her?
Is it greedy, is it selfish, maybe, to want more from her?
If she knew how I felt would she admit that she has feelings too, or will she become distant to help my feelings crumble away?

I sometimes think about a future we could have together,
maybe not an ideal future for most,
but we're not most.
I am more than thankful for getting to know her,
the real her,
better yet to live with her,
to have the privilage of knowing how she lives and thinks.

If I got the courage to ask her to be mine,
What if one day I just told her that i've fallen more in love with her than what I knew to be possible,
That i want her and nothing more.
Could I tell her the truth?
What if i'm not what she deserves?
I know i'm not, she deserves everything and more, and i'm meerly a guy that cant bring himself to say what he truly feels.

We tell each other everything,
or at least we should.
I want to tell her,
it's all I want,
She's all I want.

I know one day i'll have the courage to tell her that she is my whole world,
my heart,
mind,
and soul.
That I fell for her deep like the ocean,
and the vastness of that love,
This love i've held in for so long,
A love so strong it could be portioned out through everybody in this world and we'd see the start of a world wide peace,
That love is in me and it's all going after her relentlessly.

All I can do is hope that she feels even the smallest amount of something good back,
because there's no way that anything around me can stop this love from fueling my every need to have her, nothing ever will.