A titanium heart

 A titanium heart.

My fountain eyes flush tears of pain.
With every smile I give, my heart strains.
With every laugh I give, my heart breaks.
With every time I say I’m ok, my heart is pierced.
The silence I give as I cry myself to sleep.
Not a single word, nor a wimp nor a squeak. 
Continuous fear knowing you could come home in ashes.
Lapis droplets fall down my lashes.
A figment of my imagination you still haunt my dreams.
I have to be alright I can not scream.
Your luxurious fur no longer by my side.
Your warm body, never would harm a fly.

You look at me with your azure eyes.
You didn’t understand what was happening, why I had to say goodbye.
Your little head cocks as the cage door closes shut. 
My hand desperate to feel you once more before time runs out of the clock.
I see the white van steer into the distance.
I didn’t want to obliged to these commissions.
My titanium heart begins to rust, never have I ever felt so upset so lost.

I tear up if I ever heard your name.
A continuous loop of crying and pain.
My titanium heart begins to break, the blood seeps out slowly punctured by a stake. 
Nothing was ever supposed to break this.
It would only heal with your soft fur kiss.
Everything around me reminds me of you. 
Even your name it’s everywhere blue.

I’m trapped in this dark cage.
No where to go no where to stay.
I see a speck of light into the distance. 
No matter how much I run I can not win.
I still sit here waiting for you. 
Your bed is made and your food in your bowl too.
Come on give me a sign!
I can’t stop fighting for your life.
I’m in this whole world that I call home.
But without you I feel so alone.