addled mind

you're always longing for something, he said. 

you're so young, 

you don't have to long for it. 

i feel so stuck though, 

quicksand all around me, 

i sink further and further 

into the limitations of my own mind. 

it's like, 

i'm so afraid of my own failure, 

i fail to try at all--

always thinking of what could be, 

that's me. 

i can feel though, 

i'll feel the full range of human emotion

until it ravages me and leaves me hopeless. 

my dreams and life are oil and water, 

i pour hot wax on the paper airplane that will never float, 

stuck in an everlasting planetarium show, 

cannot believe it's already winter, 

snow as bleached as an Elvis jumpsuit,  

"there ain't no sunshine when she's gone"

oh my life, oh my lavender colored lips

and powdered nose, 

i can't begin to fathom a life in which i'm in control.