Again

I don't know where to go with thisĀ
I don't know how to be
It's typical of me to bury things
To hold on and not let them free
I stirred up so many memories
Of a life that I haven't grieved
I allowed myself to falterĀ
And it's shaken what I believed
I can see the familiar patternsĀ
In the new life I chose to create
Leaving me frozen in time
Procrastinating, full of debateĀ
I chose something so similarĀ
It's almost laughable to me
In turmoil now I try to deny
This isn't how it's supposed to be
I'm having to rearrange my heart
To hold space for a deep pain
Fighting to catch my breath
I don't want to do this all again
Ā
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