Poem -

Am I Here

Back from the flames

Touched by the fire

Arrival

The demons that got my friends

The winged creatures of the night

The fists rattling my apartment walls

Hundreds of demons knocking to get in

The giant guardians towering over the town

The four eight foot tall shadows on my wall

North was South

South was North

West was East

East was West

The homeless man who tried to poison me

Death by a plugged tailpipe in the snow

The bright light I saw before I passed out

The man who looked at me and made time stop

The devil talking through my radio

The powers I thought I had

Being choked in my sleep

Dreams of starving demons standing at my door

The shrink that fed me the meds

Thinking of pulling the trigger four hours a day

Envisioning the event to see if I could do it

Sleeping twenty hours a day

Applying for disability

Gaining fifty pounds off meds

Forced into a single drooling emotion

Losing my family

Losing my mind

Drinking to blackout

Smoking to not drink

Then drinking anyway

Saying I will stop

Stabbing my soul everyday

Hearing my friends see demons in a cup

Hearing my friends on the phone screaming

They are taking my soul

Hearing voices in the background

Seeing peoples faces changing

Wondering if people are demons

And if they fly

If they can change their appearance

Getting locked in a church

Putting my soul on a card

Finding it in a pile of lost souls

Hearing the soul count

Looking at the piles of paper souls

Seeing the blackened eyes of the followers

Talking to people who disappear

The devil himself strangling me at night

Waking up with no breath

Coming to terms with the fact

That no one will believe me

That it was only in my mind

Trying to live again

Wondering if this is a dream

If I died in the car accident

If the homeless man killed me

If I died of carbon monoxide

If I pulled the trigger

I am still a little confused

I cannot pinch myself hard enough

Am I here

Did I arrive

Did I return

Am I the walking dead

Was I brought back to life

Did my friends lose their souls

When does the next battle start

Because I know the war of man is never over

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