Poem -
Angst
she will shout all night..
screaming like the devil is
clawing her,
I dont know if it soothes
my conscience or hers,
to stop ignoring her..
What tricks the mind plays,
on us poor souls..
Even when we think
we posses everything one
could ever want in life..
mental health can swipe it
all away...
so I answer her call,
and wonder how long
it will be
for me to join her fight..
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Comments
Hello Pauline...
I worked in Nursing Homes and spent much time in Hospitals...
Experienced the death of my Mother which I could here everything...
Days before she died she said no Mama!
No Mama!
I went into her room and she had tears in her eyes...
That was the last time she spoke...
The morning she passed away she had one tear ...
My Mother could not cry with only one eye when she was alive...
She cried a lot because, of the Death of my oldest Brother and my Dad's terrible treatment to her...
The morning she died there was such a beautiful scent in her room that never went away...
She believed in God with all her heart and she was Saved before she died...
It wasn't a look of fright which I have seen many times and the smell that enters the room is so disgusting you couldn't stay in there and the feeling of it's difficult to explain but the feeling in the room in beyond bad and very uneasy...
I also experienced it with the Death of my Dad...
The horrid smell was in everything...
The look on his face told a Story I wouldn't anyone to have for themselves but, unfortunately many will...
Their Story their Choice...
What you describe is definitely not Heaven but, a place that's there for those who don't go to Heaven...
My Dad didn't believe in God when he died...
I wondered often if he believes now?
I don't know what would have happened if my Mother didn't get Saved...
Would she still have gone to Heaven?
I wasn't certain enough so I asked her if I could have the Pastor come in and have her Saved...
She said yes please...
After she died I asked my Dad the same thing...
He said No!
I asked him a few weeks later...
He said No!
He was dead a Month later...
People don't believe in it...
I saw too many times when I wasn't a true believer...
I believe I was put in those positions as a push to be one...
Great write!
Thank you for sharing...
Hugs...
sparrowsong
Wow very insightful and poignant. My son suffers from schizophrenia and I can really identify with this
Violet
Sparrow Song, your comment is a poem in itself..When my mum died horribly of cancer at home, I cried so much, I slept in her bed that night, unchanged. I do not fear the death or the dead, my father died in hospital, I remember leaving him, and he was complaining about a pair of socks my sister brought him, I cried all the way home and wished I'd stayed as that was the last time he spoke to me, I always feel they are out there and make me strong. At work last night theres several tortured souls, its cruel for them to be so upset, ..with what their brains has twisted memories. I will always believe Good will go to Good..and bad to bad..
Violet ..so many hurting people were not always in control, I think I'm better than what I was years ago...stress and anxiety..I've learned to chill more.
OMG Pauline...fantastic love. I work with this also, 4 long 12 1/2 hour night shifts a week. It is draining and soul destroying and a terrible terrible tragedy to witness the slow destruction of a valuable loved and loving human being who becomes unrecognisable over time. This can happen both with dementia and mental health. Life is a bastard quite frankly...pinned ?
Hello Pauline...
Bad things happen to good people...
I have also seen bad people get blessed...
In life...
We are not our Soul keepers...
I'm very sorry for your loss...
I feel my Mother's presence and I've had a couple of dreams of her after she died and she was so beautiful like when she was here and smiling a smile that I could make her do where others couldn't...
I haven't felt my Dad's presence at all other than the one time his Spirit tried taking over somebody I was talking to and I said HELL NO!
It was terrifying!
Also had a couple of dreams of my Dad and they were so scary I told him I don't want you in my dreams anymore and they stopped...
Acts and Works doesn't get you into Heaven...
I know a lot of good people who didn't get there...
I would really prefer not to see people's faces after they die but, unfortunately you can't always avoid it...
Hugs again...
Actually, it's the same with me, I saw my mum on the day before her funeral, in a purple haze, and believe whatever that was made me strong, my dad, well, I was having a really bad miserable day, when I worked in the community, my husband was a badtard, left me, I had kids, and had to work..as I was leaving a little old lady said P auline, remember, it wont always be dark at six !....now that is what he used to say, and she said it at the right time, to me. I see my dad in dreams, at inappropriate moments he will wander through, then I grab him and we have a chat....accept your self, I dont tell people this, let them find their own way...