As I lay here awake at 5 in the morning

5am 01/02/2019 As I lay here awake at 5 in the morning As I lay here awake at 5 in the morning, Looking up at the ceiling with mirrors on, Reflecting on my life, Where did it all go wrong? Can’t sleep with these thoughts in my head, These four walls are like a big coffin, I’m forgotten, Already dead. I’m not though, Just me and these thoughts in my head, As I lay here at 5 in the morning in my home hospital bed.... I can’t get to sleep. My brain just won’t let me, So I try to alter their path and think of all things happy, All things in the future my kids and I can do, If my cancer doesn’t eventually come and get me. As I lay here at 5 in the morning, I can already here some of the unlucky ones scraping, Soaking and swarming with warmth, Their cars ready for their early shift working... i hear all the wind and other sounds, That in the cold break of winters day brings, How everything in nature begins to awake with birds chirps, Beginning to sing, From where I live, All of the great ships cargo loading, Clanging, Dock workers freezing. All this, As I lay here awake at 5 in the morning. Soon, Most will be up in the early dawn, Stretching their arms and releasing their first Of the day yawn. Do they know that we as the public, On lifes' chess board, Were only pawns. Playing our part in how the world’s run, Without us all, The world wouldn’t be the same, They’d be know roads, No businesses, We'd all have to self sustain. Now I’m putting the world to rights, As I lay awake at 5 in the morning, Listening to the cracking wind and the light drizzle of rain, There must be so many billions out there worse than me, Or even the same. I wonder at 5 in the morning, Do they get any window pain? Mine? Is shown through my happiness in my kids. Without them my life would hit the skids. I’d slip on black ice kust to crash into a tree. Losing my kids. That’d be the end of me.... Why am I thinking all these random thoughts when the world is dawning, As I lay here awake at 5 in the morning!