Attributes of Being Average 

(alternately titled one me silly more till manufactured
from go win addle American
non refundable private parts)

each set of twenty three chromosomes
the basic biological building blocks
of life came out cervix
when second hand of analog clocks

barely and scarcely swept across dial,
wrought offspring appearance as a pier a docks
closely resembling a monkey perhaps...hmm...
maybe mother mated with a chimp 
assimilating chromosomal flox
genetic combination brought about add hocks

viz bouncing baby boy skinny and fair game
as a pluperfect future target for jocks
when I took first gasp of air sputtered
like an old engine that knocks,
now just easing into ma deuce score
and xix year with hair reed locks
twittering, snorting, rattling nonetheless
became precious human dependent

with mat chew anti body mox
see for father and mother
to care despite expelling nox
shuss gas out derriere, which profuse flatulence
natural immunization  kept away infected kids with pox
nicknamed little buttock blaster
now sits in a comfy chair and rocks
reminiscing about boyhood and a pooch named Socs
who told time applying faux paws vox
like ­tum make sounds resembling tick tocks

Nowadays every potential mom and dad
disappointed unless offspring(s) feverish follow fad
decreeing qualified as gifted birth of lass or lad
go wing great lengths to prod and push
progeny until a genius to be had
rather tubby thankful and gratefully glad

regaling robust surprise packaged traits of yore
inheriting genetics descended when early apes did de tour
terrestrial virgin earth anatomically complete store
reed awesomely astounding miracle from spore
sized fertilized ovum (healthy
and sound baby boy or girl) hood roar
if lionized, which feline bellow mew might mean
change my dye ya pore
and pamper me sum more
gnome hatter wailing mama or papa ignore
thence nurturing baby pipes por favor
kinship knits omnipotent bond evermore
where tis instinctual to adore.