Bad Mum day

 

"I love you good night sweet dreams" 

I sigh heavy about to walk away 

but then I just stand there still

as I think about our day

 

Your little heads rest gently, 

you lay there tucked in tight

I know I failed at mum today, tommorow will be better....it just might

 

Maybe I should have worried less about the farm, the jobs, the mess, 

I should have been more patient

I should have been my best

 

Today was ment to be a good day

I was set to be that mum

That speaks without scolding, 

that's kind and smiley and fun

 

I fell asleep by mistake I had million things to do. Dishes sat in the sink, dirty washing scattered through every room.

 

I woke up quick as lightning 

fear weighed heavy on my mind

I had so much to do today 

but now I didnt have the time.

 

I rush you through your breakfast

I get you quickly dressed 

I tell you to "Hurry find your shoes!"

I'm a grumpy, impatient mess

 

I leave the cold half coffee 

to sit there on the bench

 I'm stressing about doing too many things .....I'm a distracted unkept wrench 

 

 

 

We miss the bus by seconds

I swear inside my mind

I blame you for moving too slowly

My words are thoughtless and unkind

 

I rush back home to tackle 

all those things I'd planned to do 

but I see it's time to head to work now

I leave the house a messy unrule.

 

I try to think of dinner as I'm putting up a fence, I start to remember my morning now my heart floods with deep regret

 

It's a busy day of farming

 So many mistakes made by me

But my biggest mistake by far today 

was not being the mum you need

 

 

 

I tell myself I'll do better when the boys come home from school 

I tell myself just start again

I give myself 3 rules

 

I'm not to be impatient 

I will not yell today

I'LL stop sweatting about the messy house that never goes away

 

I'm late to meet the school bus 

So you walk home you know the way

I give you jobs the moment your in

I don't even ask about your day

 

I cook tea and sort some washing then it's bath and teeth and bed

I stand in the doorway and wish sweet dreams as you lay down your sleepy heads

 

 

I'm standing here knowing how much

 I failed to be your mum. I should have enjoyed each moment with you

my sweet and precious sons

 

I know that you need better 

 But as you lay in bed tonight 

please know tommrow il try my best 

to be a mum... a mum who gets it right.

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