Basketball shit: rap influence

Basketball shit 
When I was young I used to dream
of ballen like harden, 
but now basketballs fallen out of my heart and
I feel like a pussy cuz I ain't startin. 
But that's just me bitchin 
The last few month I've been put through the fire. Call it Hell's Kitchen 
And I'm just sittin here smiling like ain't shit missing, but my hearts fallen out.
 just sit there and listen. 
The basketball court has seen me at my best, but lately I feel like it's tearing out my chest. 
I'm being pulled apart by two different worlds 
Like falling in love with two different girls 
It's like bein stuck in a boat in the middle of a storm 
Like choosing to be cold outside when inside is warm.
I wanna stick it out with my team but my heart is torn,
Between sticking to my promise that I made when shit was still fun or chillin like pumba in lion king one. 
It's hard to make a decision, I want it both ways. It's like praying for the sun while looking for the shade.
But at the end of it all life's measured by the choices you've made. 
You've gotta grind if you wanna get payed. 
When I try to clear my conscience folk tell me to deal with it
But now I'm emptying my soul of this basketball shit..