Beating

i'm alive, 
but barely breathing to emulate your heartbeat
it roars, craving,
almost taking 
aching for love although it's close to bursting 
because it is not satisfied;
my love does not suffice 
it's quite unfortunate but I don't mind 
no surprise comes in learning that I have not met your expectations
i've disappointed before
i'm still trying, being subjective in a world of objects 
attempting to reconcile my subconscious with the aware
bewildered by the puzzle, in awe of the solution 
opinionated, and praying  
i'm alive, sustained, 
maintained by what i once lost 
no longer deprived
justified by the radiation your heart liberates
gracious, and grateful,
gracing the world, 
always seeming to contemplate 
beating