Beautiful Ashes

I figured that I have to write this 
Cuz what you did to me was wrong 
I won't show this to most 

First of all, 
Fuck you 
Because I've always given my all 
And you seemed so invested in this to begin with 
Why'd you have to start this then fade away?
Didn’t you ever see this smile going away? 
Didn't you ever see this flower wilting?  
Did you ever care? 

I was the only indigo lilac in a garden full of pink ones and I thought you saw me for my color
And the eyes of this flower 
But you only saw me for my pollen
My sweet pea lips 
My soft petal thighs 
I was dumb to think that my color would ever be bright enough for you to see 

Because you are blind
You've been blind all along 

But so was I 
I thought you were a red rose 
Beautiful and velvety and close to Crimson 
And when I saw the flames dance across your fingertips I thought your hands would bring warm 
And I used to think that your fire was beautiful
But I forgot that fire burns 
If I let you come back to open arms again the next time you're lonely 
I'll let you turn me to beautiful ashes 
My stem was always fragile 

I thought you were a red rose
But you were white 
A blank canvas 
Empty and broken 
White like the clouds we liked to stare at before dawn 
White like the high 
You used me 
And you used the Devils treats 
And now you’re as pale as ice

And now he'd never let you be red