Bed Bath and Beyond

So they told me even before I arrived
I’d be on the 15th floor
I replied, hell no I hate lifts
then they went silent
short pause...

they then said I could bring one thing from home
of course I chose my framed sunflowers  

I always hated the colour yellow
but my sunflowers, are florescent pink
even though I know they are in fact yellow

If I told you they speak to me
I suspect
you would immediately presume I’m barking mad?

well they do, and we have the most magnificent conversations
we talk about everything from political arguments
to the weather and the aliens who most certainly live amongst us

we also have great conversation about the cactus
that sits at the end of my bed
somedays it has more than four arms

did you know that the more arms one has
the more blossoms and fruit it can produce?

what a lot of codswallop
the cactus sitting at the end of my bed is yellow

one of its hands can speak
well, I can only imagine
because I can hear a voice
even though I know I’m the only one in the room

it moves from side to side I swear it laughs at me too
well, today I’ve decided to snap all its hands off
yes, you heard me
rip them off and throw them out the window

after all
I need some peace and quiet
and so do my sunflowers
after all, it’s time for their bed bath.